Top Chef

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Watch Nothing Happen

So it's Stew Room Hijinks! I really wish we had seen some of this on the show. I love people being goofy and whatnot to amuse themselves and I think it tells you more about their personalities than eight million interviews. For example, one time they made beds out of plastic bags and plastic wrap and some pallets. Another time, they made a volleyball court with a plastic wrap net. There was singing and dancing and general cutting up.

Andy Cohen introduces some unseen footage of Leah and Jamie getting totally trashed in the Stew Room before heading out to Judge's Table. I remember this night! This is when they all wore headbands and I was like, "What's up with the headbands?" Turns out they were drunk. Like so drunk that they could barely stand up at Judges' Table and were giggling the whole time, which made the judges start giggling. I have to say that drunk Leah seems way more fun than sober Leah. Jamie explains that they both knew they were safe that night, and needed to blow off some steam. Padma says it was hysterical and Colicchio is surprised it hasn't happened before. I like that they keep their sense of humor about it instead of being like, "They didn't respect the process of judging, and they dishonored the show."

A viewer wants to know who the biggest crier was this season, and everyone points to Ariane. We see a clip package of Ariane and various others crying it up, especially after they were eliminated, and then Stefan at the end saying, "Get over it, dude!" This is why I could hang with Stefan.

Another viewer wants to know how she can get some of Stefan's cockiness to help her succeed as a chef. Stefan says he wakes up in the morning, looks in the mirror and says that he's the best of the best. Is anyone else picturing that scene in Reservoir Dogs where Tim Roth looks in the mirror and goes, "Don't pussy out on me now. They don't know. They don't know shit. You're not gonna get hurt. You're fucking Barretta. They believe every fucking word 'cause you're super cool." I think that's Stefan's daily affirmation. It might be mine, starting tomorrow. That introduces the clip package of Stefan, the horndog. The best is the shot of Stefan's face when Padma walks into the Stew Room wearing that pink dress with her boobs all hanging out. Classic. Stefan tries to explain his crush on Jamie and it starts out nice with him saying how much he respects her cooking, but then he has to go and say she has a nice rack, too, and she has to pretend to be flattered and it's all kinds of gross. And then she says she'd die before having sex with him, and he acts like he'd still do it with her dead body, and this just took a turn. Andy tries to bring things back by asking who thinks Stefan might be Fan Favorite and not one person raises his or her hand. HARSH!

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Top Chef

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