Top Chef
Wedding Bell Blues

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | 1 USERS: F
The Cake Mix Controversy
The judges deliberate. Gail points out that Stephen never accepted responsibility for his shortcomings, he just got defensive. Colicchio reminds us that he told Stephen at the last Judges' Table that he needed to "show from the kitchen." And yet. And yet. Marcy once again approves that Stephen talked to waiters about how to serve.

In the kitchen, Stephen meticulously sips coffee. He purses his lips together on the swallow. Gaufreak.

The judges next discuss Lee Anne dropping the ball and Harold's failed salad. They bring the cheftestants back in. After toying with Harold and Lee Anne, Colicchio tells Stephen, "this is Top Chef, not Top Waiter," which is not a very successful retread of the already rather dolty original. He then turns to Tiffani and crabs at her for some reason that never really came up. The Bot tells Stephen to pack his knives and go. More like, "Pack your wineglasses, corkscrew, white towel, pour spout, decanter, and go." The Bot oddly asks if Stephen has anything to say. I guess it's because he just sits there, whereas other guests immediately thank everyone and leave. "No," Stephen sort of sneers with his curled lip and looks at all the judges. They're all excused. Stephen still doesn't say anything to the judges.

Back in the kitchen, it's uncomfortable. Stephen scriggles a place next to Harold and says, "The time has come." Indeed. Harold offers him his hand. They shake but they both know that Stephen is never allowed back on Team Cool again. Harold tells us, "Stephen definitely deserved to go home. I could have backed him up but he called Lee Anne out and there was no way I was gonna let Lee Anne go out like that." Damn straight! Stephen's last words are as discombobulated and imbecilic as everything else he said on the show. "Now that my role in this competition has finally come to an end, I'm going to become a restaurateur and that is my goal in life. I will probably influence the industry and raise the bar to a level of excellence that I don't think has been achieved yet to date in this country." I'll look for him at Cucina Criminally Deluded.

Next week: Truffles and Sopranos wine.

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