Top Chef

Episode Report Card
Chuck: D | 3 USERS: A-
Zoo Food

First on the Quickfire circuit: Richard's "chicken soup" with chicken, apples, apple cider, eucalyptus, and butter -- the judges, of course, are curious about the koala food. Richard looks dejected as the only real feedback he gets from Wylie is that "it's not terribly strong on eucalyptus," who delivers the line in a way that makes it impossible to tell whether it's a compliment or a criticism. Ryan's lettuce, radishes, potatoes, sirloin steak and Dijon mustard looks nice; Wylie thinks it is "properly cooked, simple, tasty."

Dale used mushrooms, shallots, radishes, eggs and butter in what looks like a damn good breakfast -- both Wylie and Padma appear to enjoy it. Valerie chose rib eye steak, peaches, sweet potatoes, tomatoes and arugula. Those are some bold flavor combinations, but her dish looks a bit heavy, and the colors don't come together well, at least on my TV. For Wylie, it's "refreshing and juicy," so I'm wrong on that one. Spike wanted to make a dish he calls "apples and tips," but the meat wouldn't let him, so he's ended up with tenderloin tips (or something nasty and chopped up masquerading as such), apples, bread, apple cider, and rosemary. This one really does look unappetizing, like a brown rock garden. The judges express confusion and disappointment that Spike didn't make a sandwich, to which Spike responds, "True, that would have been a good plan." And then he gives this total doofus stoner chuckle.

Erik's lined up potatoes, baby carrots, and a lamb chop, using mint and garlic for seasoning, which elicits little reaction, and Mark has settled on sirloin steak, turnips, mushrooms, peaches and butter. With good quality meat, a simple steak dish really is hard to beat, and Mark's looks exquisite -- better that he didn't have the lettuce. Wylie enjoys the combination of the turnips and the peaches, but not as much as he likes Mark's "nice sideburns." They are the only thing separating the men from the lesbians!

Andrew used lamp chops, peaches, onions, mint, potatoes, and balsamic vinegar, which, for those of you county-count types like, oh, the judges, are six ingredients. He tries to play it off all, I thought balsamic vinegar was one of the things we were given, like mayonnaise. They're having none of it -- Andrew gets disqualified what he chalks up to an ability "to focus on a certain amount of things at a time." Looks like listening and following the rules don't make the cut, which doesn't bode well from someone on a show about, to a great degree, listening and following the rules.

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Top Chef




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