Twin Peaks
Episode Fourteen

Episode Report Card
2 USERS: A+
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Unless General Smarminess Is A Crime

And over to Ben's office we go, where a meeting with Tojamura reveals that Ben has checked he -- er, I mean "his" references and that the deal is confirmed for the Ghostwood property. But just as he finishes this Ghostwood Propaganda Speech he has now delivered to most of the nations protected under the UN's peace accord umbrella and perhaps even a country or two known only on the map demarcated by a white square surrounded by a black dotted line inside of which is written "Disputed Zone," the door to the office bursts open and Cooper, Truman, Hawk, and Andy" enter on the grounds of "police business." Ben fumes that he's "in a meeting" and would like for the cavalcade of law-enforcing types to be "a little more specific." Well, then, okay. "You're wanted for questioning in the murder of Laura Palmer. Is that specific enough for you?" Go, Truman! Burn! Ben pronounces them "insane," apologizes to Tojamura in that "and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling murder investigators" way he's bared in mind since the Norwegians were leaving, the Norwegians were leaving, and begins to leave the office out the back door, threatening Cooper with his knowledge of "people in high places." He then adds, "I'm going to go out for a sandwich," which I really like. Hawk and Andy cuff him and drag him out. Maybe because he never promised that he'd have himself a big cup of coffee with that sandwich.

Trees. Oh, how they moodily blow.

Palmer house. The needle scratches off the end of the record on the phonograph machine, because Angelo Badalamenti's latest release Miraculously Sustained Chords for Moodily Blowing Trees has made everybody very, very sleepy. And there's one of the stupefied now. A hand reaches for a step, and we pan up to Sarah Palmer climbing head first down the steps. She reaches the floor, a look of "I know every Friday is Crab Soccer Night, but sometimes I just get so tired" crossing her face, and she comes to rest on the floor. Shots of the Palmer living room on Crawly Floor Cam. Ceiling fan. Phonograph. Ceiling fan. Floor. Couch. Ceiling fan. Steps. Floor. The sound of the Twin Peaks third-season contracts being slightly amended to include a continuous loop of Craig T. Nelson and Roseanne Arnold performing late-season episodes of their own flagging-quality shows IN THE NUDE in this time slot rather than subjecting the world's remaining audience (me and my brother) to another second of A Night at the Incomprehensible. In the nude. That's full-frontal, people. Which would you rather watch?

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Twin Peaks

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