Twin Peaks
Episode Nine

Episode Report Card
1 USERS: B+
YOU GRADE IT
Major Problems

Anyway, the song goes like this:

Just you and I
Just you and I
Together, forever
In love

Just you (girls repeat into 1950s mic) and I (girls repeat into 1950s mic)
Just you (girls repeat into 1950s mic) and I (girls repeat into 1950s mic)
Together (girls "ah" for a long, long time), forever
In love

[Bridge]
In love
We go strolling together
In love
We go strolling forever
Oh, oh, oh

Just you and I
Just you and I
Together, forever
In love

[All three]
Just you and I
Just you and I
Just you and I
Just you and I
Just you and I

Um, wow? James is clearly making the best possible use of the guitar lessons he has taken since birth, which means, as the careful reader will recognize, he has been in formal training for his instrument since, oh, negative some months now. Donna, who has been watching Maddy make bedroom eyes at James (I knew she shouldn't have thrown away those glasses), finally becomes frustrated with the entirety of the proceedings and storms off in a teary huff. James abruptly stops playing, which I guess also serves as a pretty clear signal for the accompanying bass and drums that have reaaaaally mysteriously snuck into the accompaniment to take five as well. James chases after her and asks just what the holy hell is wrong with her, and she kisses him (yeah, that's what's wrong with her). But their smacky badness is presently interrupted by Doc Hayward calling down from upstairs that Donna has a phone call from a "Harold Smith." James looks on suspiciously as Donna and Harold make plans to meet. His already too-protruded forehead furrows so extensively that it knocks a vase off a nearby table as James gives the stink-eye through a lid so sensitive it's barely done forming. Stupid Fetus.

And if you thought the sight of a lovesick singing fetus was the scariest thing ever about this scene, well, you're right. But then something else happens that's kind of scary, too. Back in the living room, Maddy stares at the Hayward's couch for a moment, when from behind it BOB appears, walks toward said couch, climbs over said couch, and heads directly into the camera in what is, the most sustaining image of the entire run of the show. There is no way to describe it. It's just plain terrifying. But I will say this: for someone with big horrible SJLP glasses, Maddy was obviously a candidate for astigmatism, so I'm not sure that she should have just discarded them wholesale when Lenscrafters had doubtlessly already been invented in the Pacific Northwest. I mean, Jesus, get a tortoiseshell frame and get on with it. So when someone decides that her approach to vision correction is "I'm too cool for glasses," I can't be all that mondo-sympathetic when images of the walking dead start climbing over suburban couches and infecting her every waking nightmare until she finds herself in the direct path of such abject nefariousness. It's just this little policy I have.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8Next

Twin Peaks

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP