Twin Peaks
Episode One

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Something's Fishy

Meanwhile, over at the Johnson place, Leo tears his truck apart while a look of dawning badness crosses over his face. He checks everywhere. He checks the washing machine. He screams in frustration and hits the washing machine. Clearly it ain't trouble he's unable to track down. Because apparently he's just stepped in a big ol' steaming pile of just exactly that.

Over in the jail cell containing Mike and Bobby, Mike adds an extra cup or two of flour to the still thickening plot in establishing a connection between the two of them and Leo Johnson. Mike tells Bobby that Leo called him at home looking for "the money." Mike had been under the impression that they were supposed to give it all to him today, and, much to Mike's consternation, Bobby tells him that he's already given Leo half of the money. Sadly, whatever transaction of goods and services these furtive business associates had been planning was severely stymied by a small impediment called Laura's death. Turns out she was holding the rest of the money in her safety deposit box, and Bobby absolves himself of guilt with the too-true defense that "I was supposed to get it today, then she went and checked out on us." Mike wonders how they plan on obtaining another ten grand for Leo, and Bobby defensively suggests that they "could sell light bulbs door to door." Mike rails back that this "isn't funny," and Bobby assures him that he's "not laughing." I am. But it's kind of a nervous, girlish, ask-me-to-the-dance-oh-please kind of giggle. Hi, Bobby. Their conversation ceases instantly, however, when Hawk escorts Slater Fetus back into his cell. Bobby slinks up to the bars and follows James's every step with a corresponding step of his own. When it comes to Slater Fetus and the rights of the unborn, Bobby is clearly remaining staunchly pro-choice on his approach to James' future.

A few seconds of the Laura/Donna picnic are soon to dissolve into the Hayward house, where Donna in running down the stairs and asking her mother why they didn't wake her for her scheduled questioning at the police station. As the theme song accompanies this scene, Donna explains to her mother that she and James had been falling in love all the while he and Laura were together. She asks, "I feel like I've betrayed my best friend, and if it's true, why am I so happy?" Hugs and more hugs.

Over at the police station, Truman introduces Ed, whose head is bandaged from the fight at the Roadhouse, to Cooper for the first time, and Cooper makes the family connection between Ed and James. Ed enigmatically observes that he's looking after James because "his mother is out of town" (well, wouldn't that mean that -- oh, never mind) and that James works in Ed's garage. Cooper comforts Ed that James "didn't kill anybody," and that he's sure of this based on "one small doubt, which he cleared up for me." And just as Cooper warns Ed that Mike and Bobby will be released today as well, Lucy interrupts their chat in telling Cooper that an "Albert Rosenfeld" (gee, well, I sure as heck don't know what or who this Albert character will turn out to be like, but something about this moment just makes me want to say YAY YAY YAY. Don't quite know why, though) is calling, and it "sounds like long distance. It has that open air sound, y'know, where, it sounds like wind blowing. Like wind blowing. Through trees." Re-watch this. It's funny. As Cooper takes the call, Ed tells Truman he thinks something was wrong last night at the Roadhouse. Although he was at the Roadhouse to see Norma, Ed reports, he was also "on my stake-out." When he got up to investigate the fight between Mike and Donna, he became light-headed and didn't even remember getting hit. Ed's conclusion? His beer was drugged, a theory made all the more credible to the two of them considering that "Jacques Renault was tending bar." Back to Cooper; he's in the process of promising said "Albert" that he can have access to Laura's body for further investigation "tomorrow," but that her funeral is on Monday morning and that's pretty much that. Cooper doesn't let him go without telling him about the Lamplighter Inn and their amazing cherry pie. And I know we don't know Albert yet, but I can pretty clearly hear his response to Cooper's instant acclimation into slower, country living, and it has nothing to do with asking about the quality of the coffee or why those flannel-wearing farm dwellers are so damn stupid to begin with. Oh, wait. It might be that second thing. Albert's power is so strong that we haven't even met him yet and already I am channeling his every move.

The extremely-normal-and-charming-and-wonderful-in-almost-every-way-I've-had-the-pleasure-to-see-so-far Norma and the put-the-previous-phrase-in-parentheses-and-write-the-word-NOT-in-twenty-foot-high-letters-before-it Nadine literally run into each other at the entrance to the Twin Peaks General Store. Nadine volunteers the information that she has spent her last quality weeks "inventing a noiseless, completely silent drape runner," and we receive a top-notch insight into the demented mind of Nadine Hurley, who is so trapped in her tiny psychotic universe that she realizes no one's issues but her own: "Do you what makes it work? The thing I thought of at four in the morning, when I was waiting for my husband to be released from intensive care?" Do you know what makes the silent drape runners work? No whammies? Big bucks? It's cotton balls. And you have to give her credit, because if Nadine were to be furnished with a copy of the script of this episode, she would identify her discovery of the perfect silent drape runner as the absolute dramatic high point of all of their lives. And she's off. Norma rolls her eyes and I feel horribly, horribly sad for Ed, wherever he may be, sitting quietly and meditating on the domestic shambles that are his every waking moment of life.

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Twin Peaks

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