Twin Peaks
Episode One

Episode Report Card
Something's Fishy

Hey, it's Ed, sitting in the police station, meditating on the domestic shambles that are his every waking moment of life. James, his nephew and charge in his mother's absence and therefore an integral part of the domestic shambles that are his every waking moment of life (see the previous two sentences for more information on this), is being released from custody. He asks Ed if he had to post bail, and Ed assures him (because he's the best) that James was not charged with anything. As they leave, James dourly lets him know that he'll be needing "a hand from the Bookhouse Boys." Ed, the most patient man ever to endure a psychotic wife who thinks she's a pirate and a non-gestated nephew who thinks he's fully gestated, tells him that it's already taken care of as they exit the station.

Back in a different interrogation room, Cooper does the talking while a silent Truman watches the latest edition of Third Degree enacted on Mike and Bobby. Mike tells Cooper they were just in jail for fighting, and he argues that they only fought out of "self-defense." And so Cooper lets them go, just like that. Completely perplexed by this sudden shift in Cooper's attitude but unwilling to stick around and perform a psychoanalysis on the matter, the two jump up and ready themselves for departure. But before they're fully out the door, Cooper whistles into the hollow tube he spent much of the Pilot whittling so successfully, and announces, "One more thing. Pray for the health and safety of James Hurley, because if anything happens to him, we're coming for you." And they go. Cooper solves another of life's little predicaments. He looks at Truman to see him rather downcast and tells them they have "places to go, people to see." Truman volleys that he feels as if he should begin studying medicine, and when Cooper asks why, Truman responds with a please-don't-make-me-say-this pause, "Because I'm beginning to feel a bit like Doctor Watson." Well, I thought it was funny, anyway. And after all the elapsed time so far in this series without a questionable line of dialogue of any kind, I find it understandable, almost refreshing, really, that one line of quirky humor would fall squarely onto the previously unutilized waka-waka-waka side of the fence.

Over at the Packard Mill, Pete Martell wiles away the hours scaling some dead, slimy fish. An "oh, finally, something in the room more offensive than I am, even if just slightly" Josie Packard enters the room. Sounding more and more as if she has been watching and rewatching the "I help grandpa push lawn-mowing machine" sequence of Sixteen Candles for tips on hilarious linguistic slip-ups, she offers upon entering, "On top of the morning to you." Pete corrects her patiently, because he's a saint and a wonderful actor, but Josie sees fit to suck the air right out of that with her own acting decisions of "unsaintly" and "non-good." Josie thanks Pete for standing up for her against Katherine the previous day, but the conversation ceases when Truman rings the house's buzzer and announces through an intercom that he's there to see Josie. Cut to Pete, Josie, Truman, and Cooper sitting in a sitting room of some kind, Josie having changed into a bright red "by the way I'm a female, really" dress. Pete pours Truman and Cooper a cup of coffee and takes off, and Cooper asks Josie about her relationship with Laura. Josie paid Laura to tutor her with her English twice a week, and she saw her last on Thursday afternoon. Josie reports that Laura seemed very different on Thursday, and that she told Josie out of seeming nowhere, "I think now I understand how you feel about your husband's death." The phone rings in the next room and Josie exits to answer it, and Cooper takes this opportunity to show off his investigative acumen by asking Truman, "So, Harry, how long you been seeing her?" Truman is amazed at Cooper's ability to discern such a thing, and he admits that they've only been together for about six weeks, seeing as "Andrew died a year and a half ago." Silence falls on this line of conversation, so the two men take this opportunity to take a sip of the coffee Pete had poured. But just as they take that first sip, Pete runs back in with another of my favorite early-episode lines, the non-sequitur of the ages, "Fellas, don't drink that coffee! You'd never guess. There was a fish! In the percolator!" Cooper affects a downward stare and a vague, disbelieving shake of the head that makes me laugh every time I see it, and the scene ends with the two of the attempting to keep the thought at bay that they've just sampled a mighty big gulp of Pete Martell's special Chock Full o' Carp house blend.

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Twin Peaks




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