Twin Peaks
Episode Seven (1)

Episode Report Card
Out With The Good

Hawk and the Village People version of Ed Hurley sit in a nearby van, recording the conversation we cut to between Jacques and Cooper. Cooper asks, "Leo ever mention me to you?" Mention the undercover FBI agent who currently suspects Leo of killing Laura? Jacques is too thick to know even the answer to this question. And so Cooper decides on a tactic of dividing and conquering the Renault/Johnson axis: "Leo played you like a violin. Had you and your brother taking all the risk running the product across the border. Never cut you in on a piece of the action." Jacques remains reluctant to play the ol' divulging-information game, so Cooper tells Jacques to take the chip out of his pocket, and Cooper reminds him that it's from "a very special night you spent up at your cabin." At which point Cooper launches into a This is Your Life, Flight and Foul Edition moment in recalling the dear departed memory of one Waldo the mynah bird when he calls quietly, "Laura, Laura." Jacques slams down his drink and is in the process of very. Slowly. Getting. Away. But Cooper grabs his arm and admonishes, "Take it easy, take it easy." Cooper convinces the Canuck brain trust that he has been financing Leo's smuggling operation, and that Leo never mentioned his name to keep Jacques and his brothers in the dark, continuing to "mule it across the border." Cooper has a job for him tonight, and at the sight of the $10,000 Cooper removes from his pocket, Jacques licks his gigantic, fleshy lips and downs the rest of his drink. Before they part, Cooper takes a risk: "Leo told me all about that night with the girls. I'm curious about the chip. How'd that happen?" And in what sounds like little boy Jacques' most favoritest story in the Fairy Tales for Dead Girls compendium ("Ronette and the Rigor Mortis," in which the joint-stiffening condition actually appears as an adorable furry sidekick which follows a doomed Ronette around wherever she goes, is another classic around the Renault house), begins, "It was that crazy bird. He had a thing for Laura, saying her name all the time, like he was in love or something." Then I can't hear too much over the sweating and spitting and drooling for a while, and I am forced to tune back in to this horrifying display of excess and general fat-itude for the sheer visual revulsion of an extreme close-up of Jacques' fleshy mouth and lips backstorying, "Leo takes the chip, puts it in her mouth, says, 'Bite the bullet, baby. Bite the bullet.'" Then Jacques collects himself. Strange. Could this story be in bad taste, then? Cooper agrees that they'll see each other "on the other side." Back upstairs, Audrey sits around on an otherwise empty bed in a red curtained room, looking very very very much like she is playing a character by the name of Hester. So, good thing she is, then.

Over at the wood-paneled low-income house of perpetual sadness (except when 1-800-BOY-TOY shows up so unexpectedly with a piping hot delivery of Bobby, of course) that is the Johnson house, Shelley washes her hair in the sink and gingerly places her self-laundering agents of a towel, a bottle of shampoo, and a gun (For that "Head Blown Off" kind of shine!) to the right of the basin. An errant bubble of soap creeps its way eye-ward, and Shelley grabs for where she knows the towel to be, only to find it is moving farther and farther away from her on its own seeming will. Or not so much, for as she takes a hopeful swipe for the gun, a suddenly resurgent Leo grabs the firearm and her neck, yelling, "You made me do this, Shelley. YOU MADE ME!" Okay, Leo. You just put down the gun and we'll let you be as right as you gosh darn want.

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Twin Peaks




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