Twin Peaks
Episode Seven (1)

Episode Report Card
Out With The Good

Shots of the mill in action. Leo enters an abandoned room at said mill with two large red canisters, filled to the brim, I am sure, with a liquid specifically designed to set a whole lot more than Laura's panties on F-I-R-E. He places them down and walks over to a tied-up Shelley. He puts what looks like a stop watch nailed to a wooden plank (Oh, no! Run!) down on the floor next to her and warns, "You've got about one hour to think about what you've done to me. And think about it, too. Because by then Bobby Briggs will be dead." He heads for the door and, right before the slam, a pathos-ridden off-camera braying of "YOU BROKE MY HEART" ensues. Ah, the poor cuckold. So broken indeed.

Short and exceedingly simple to recap, introducing: Scenes With No Dialogue. Yay! They sure give the wearied recapper a bit of a lift when times are getting tough. Hey, here's one now: Nadine, spiffy in a pink gown ripped right out of the Massapequa High School Class of 1987 prom collection (either that or it's white and it's her wedding dress and -- no, really -- these tapes suck) kneels on a blanket, seals a letter, pours a glass of water, and gives new meaning to the kitschy phrase "killer meds" when she empties two bottles of pills into a bowl, and (oops, there is dialogue) whispers, "Goodbye." Curtains for Nadine? Well, then, how about the runners for those curtains to slide back and forth on?

An ever-so-slightly longer scene of absolutely no repute is to follow. Over at the already smoking mill, Josie forks over a suitcase full of cash to Ambiguously Evil Hank, because it is important to hand over large quantities of cash to those who remain evil without developed intent, lest they turn said ambiguous evil on you. He thanks her for the money, and she looks downcast and like a boy, and he launches into a speech about spending eighteen months in prison and how we could all die tomorrow and blah blah blah the-mullet-tolls-next-for-thee-cakes. He tells her, "You want a lot for your money. And I want a lot for my time." Josie mindlessly repeats, "We had an agreement" so many times in this scene that it makes me yearn endlessly for the breezy improvisational acting acumen of one Waldo the mynah bird. Shut up, Josie. Hank tells her that "once you're in business with someone, you're in business for life," cutting her thumb open with a suddenly manifested knife and melding it with his own bloody finger, which he cuts consequently. And so it shall be evermore, Hank and Josie, joined in their mutual desires to spread the revolutionary gospel of ambiguous evil to the tertiary, the superfluous, the peripheral, the poorly coiffed, and the, uh, ambiguously evil. And others just like them.

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Twin Peaks




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