Twin Peaks
Episode Seven (1)

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Out With The Good

Inside an office at the mill with "Accounting" stenciled on the door for our convenience, we join Katherine Martell right in the middle of becoming as unglued as a fair percentage of the rest of the prom-dress-wearing, Hawaii-climate-loving, washing-their-hair-with-guns population of this quirky, quirky town. Memo to Katherine Martell: just because Sarah Palmer forgot to show up this week doesn't mean the front float on the crazy parade is automatically yours for the commandeering. Anyway, Katherine is frantically shuffling through papers and throwing books and creating a general sense of intra-office mayhem the likes of which I haven't seen since my last visit to MBTV corporate headquarters in Duluth. Don't make me go into detail on that, either. It'll be putting all of our jobs in jeopardy. Suffice it to say it looks a bit like this scene. ["Hey, we've hired a cleaning service since then. Ish." -- Sars] Anyway, she's looking for the ledger -- either of them, I think -- and her suspicions and paranoia have grown exponentially since she the heady salad days when she thought she possessed that special little title of "Sovereign Ruler of Everyone and Thing on This, the Planet Earth." Pete enters. She's starting to get edgy: "You're not helping her to pull something here?" Pete wants to know just exactly who it is he's helping to pull just what, as all the while Pete hastens around the room to close the blinds to the outside world where numerous mill workers look on at her paroxysmic ways. Pete says he's not helping Josie. Katherine walks closer to Pete than we've seen a married couple get to each other during the full run of the show so far, with the possible exception of when Ben picked up Sylvia just so he could drop-kick her inconveniencing ass right back out of the frame and the script. Clearly, Katherine is appealing to his soft side, and it's working. She tells him to "forget everything that we've said or we've done to hurt each other." Ah, how fiery passion and young love have coalesced into spiteful, crusty oldness. Just the way it always happens. On TV. Or in every bittersweet pop song since "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant." Katherine tells him that Pete needs to remember why they fell in love to begin with so he can help her. He couldn't be more thrilled, and he grabs her and wails her name repeatedly. She rolls her eyes in the area of three dozen times and comes so close to looking directly into the camera that I briefly consider putting some clothes on. They hug and hug.

Hawk and Ed are deep in the process of sharing Andy's tale of The Shot Heard Round The Tri-Counties with the only three enforcers of the law in the Pacific Northwest who got stuck on assignment guarding the leitmotif stoplight while everyone else was over at the big Renault arrest earlier in the evening. Lucy edges into the frame in the seeming activity of watering plants, but instead stands riveted during the actual story and even sends a you-say-your-gun-shot-straight-for-once excited little smile in Andy's general direction before turning away this time. She walks past them all and into the station's kitchen, and the menfolk offer Andy some quick words of encouragement before sending him after her. He walks with as much confidence as someone cursed with such ostrich-like gestures (and hair, oddly) can, sauntering in (as an ostrich might saunter, anyway) and shutting the sliding plastic divider that separates the kitchen from the rest of the world. He puts his hands on her shoulders. She turns to face him and they kiss and kiss. She turns and delivers a single line with a measured pathos that proves Lucy's many hours in front of Invitation to Love have not all gone to waste: "Oh, Andy! I'm pregnant!" A quick pause ensues, and a silent cut later, Andy walks dejectedly out of the kitchen and Lucy's back is once more turned away from the camera. Hawk and Ed exchange the quickly tiring "we're guys, they're dolls, what can you do?" set of glances 'round the room, and Lucy informs them in her iciest tone that there is "Fresh. Coffee." The phone rings and Lucy takes it as a personal affront, picking it up with a furious, "What?" It's Bobby, doing his best Clint-Eastwood-in-every-movie-except-maybe-The-Bridges-of-Madison-County impression, passing along a message that, "Leo Johnson said to check out James Hurley. He's an easy rider." He hangs up. Damn! He can do impressions, too? The special skills are unending! Where oh where is the dinner theater stage that will see this man's revived career safely through to the other side? Life just ain't fair sometimes. Meanwhile, on a rehearsal stage over at the Twin Peaks backlot, two young unknowns named Heather Graham and Billy Zane receive the good news that they'll be showing off their skills in an upcoming set of unquestionable season-two triumphs.

Over at the hospital, where an increasing number of the area's finest have turned up on this increasingly perilous night, Cooper and Truman finally rejoin forces in questioning Renault from his bed. The four of them (Jacques, Leo, Laura, Ronette) had been to Jacques' cabin many times, it was Laura's idea to have Jacques take her and Ronette's pictures for Flesh World, and the bloody shirt (well, blood is the COLOR of a red herring, so maybe we shouldn't be that surprised) that looked so promising in the pilot was the result of Leo smashing Jacques in the head with a whiskey bottle. Eh? After all that, Jacques walked outside and passed out. When he woke up, Leo, the Corvette, and the girls were all gone. He knows nothing about a train car. Outside his room, Truman recaps for mightybigcanuck.com that "Leo had to take the girls to the train car by himself." Cooper (still in his tux, by the way. I felt that was important to note) comments that he believes Jacques' story simply on the conclusive, deductive basis that "he's too stupid to lie." Heh. Didn't need a twenty-minute red-velvet dream sequence about Tibet to make a leap of non-faith to that conspicuous conclusion. No, sir, he did not. Hayward walks up to meet them and offers the Jacoby status report: "Listen, he says he got a phone call from Laura Palmer. He was on his way to see her when he was jumped. That brought on the heart attack." No description of the masked assailant, of course (how ambiguously eeeeeeeeevil), but Jacoby made sure to pass along the information that he did, in fact, see Laura Palmer standing in front of the gazebo. Which is kind of cool, really, considering that in real time the murder happened, like, six days ago. So let's see: A man is attacked for no reason, which brings on a heart attack, just so he ends up in the hospital as pivotal events are slated to transpire? Hmmmmm. This sounds a bit like one of those random, sniping attacks in this rash of ambiguous evil that seems to be taking over the city of late. I'm not going to name any names just yet, but let's just say I have my strong suspicions.

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Twin Peaks

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