Twin Peaks
Episode Sixteen

Episode Report Card
Scream '90

Donna did track down Cooper, it seems, and the two of them (with Andy in tow) walk up the path to the Tremond's front door. Cooper stabs at linear logic and guesses that L'il Lynch spoke those words to Harold also, and that's where he found his inspiration for his suicide note, but Donna deems that as impossible, claiming that "the suicide note is a message." They knock on Mrs. Tremond's front door, pandering to the casual viewer with the non-helpful reminder, "She's pretty old. It might take her a second if her grandson isn't here." From inside the house walks a slightly portly lady we've never seen before wearing a canary yellow shirt with matching earrings and another "tropical" shirt that evokes memories of the glory days of O.P. t-shirts and their accompanying, similarly-patterned "Jams." What is this woman doing living on the rural outskirts of the northwest woods when she should clearly be living on the west coast of Florida running for Condo Board President against Morty Seinfeld? So Donna launches in, asking Del Boca Vista, "Is Mrs. Tremond home?" Del Boca Vista is Mrs. Tremond, she responds. Donna is confused: "Well, it must have been your mother I spoke to." Del Boca Vista replies that her mother has been dead for three years, and that it is not possible that Donna spoke with her mother or her son, considering she has no children. Donna's confusion mounts until Cooper insists, "Donna, we should go." At this name identification, Del Boca Vista asks if she is "Donna Hayward," and upon confirmation returns to the back of the house. While she's gone, Donna has time to inform Cooper that she has never seen this woman before. Del Boca Vista returns with an envelope with Donna's name on it, and she and Cooper stand inches from the front door and crack it open. It's a page from Laura's diary, compliments of Harold Smith: "February 22nd: Last night I had the strangest dream. I was in a red room with a small man dressed in red and an old man sitting in a chair. I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to tell him who BOB is, because I thought he could help me." The next entry reads, "Tonight is the night that I die." Cooper reports that he and Laura had the same dream, a proclamation Andy reports is "impossible." Cooper retorts, "Yes, it is" before telling Andy to take Donna home, as he has to see Gerard because…

…Solving this murder primarily through tangible facts and evidence is a concept that was abandoned shortly after the opening credits of the Pilot, so why not devise a character who speaks in fortune cookies cracked open at Syntactical Szechwan, the same restaurant at which Yoda culls his advice. Enter Mike. Cooper leans by his bedside at the Great Northern, and he is writhing and sweaty and twitching that shirtless little nub of his as Doc Hayward stands aside and warns that Gerard needs his medication pretty darn soon if he doesn't want to become the next victim of the Excess Character Fire Sale the ABC Accounting Department seems to have set in motion recently. And more power to them. Cooper tells a barely coherent Gerard that "BOB has killed again," informing him of the dream he and Laura shared. Again. Mike pants and huffs, "BOB and I, when we were killing together, there was this perfect relationship, appetite, satisfaction, a golden circle." He makes an "A-OK" sign with his hands and Cooper somehow deduces from this round of The Charades of the Criminally Freaking Insane that his lost ring has something to do with all this. Cooper reports that he gave his ring to My Giant, and Mike huffs and pants, "He is known to us here" because the passive voice always makes an already sinister situation just that much more creeeeeeepy. Mike adds, "You have all the clues you need" before pointing at Cooper's head and alerting, "The answer is not here. The answer is here." He points at Cooper's heart. Dude, that's pretty weak right there. Thirty TV minutes away from the culmination of a murder investigation and the only advice Captain Clairvoyant can toss out is "Follow your heart"? To equate him with Yoda is now officially an insult to Yoda. That's less Yoda and more Nell Carter telling Joey Lawrence that he can make the football team even though all the other kids tell him he's too small on a particularly special episode of Gimme a Break. This sequence, of course, also lacks the incomparable cabaret singing flair of said Nell Carter. Shut up, One-Armed Man. Gimme a break, indeed.

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Twin Peaks




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