Twin Peaks
Episode Sixteen

Episode Report Card
3 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Scream '90

Palmer house. Donna stands in the living room wearing black sunglasses so clinical and large she looks like she's just flat-out making fun of blind people, and Leland enters the room and smiles big in welcoming her. He offers her "a glass of lemonade," and Donna declines on the basis that "I'm also pretty hungry, and your endless evil preening indicates that you've already chewed all of the scenery." Or maybe she really says, "This is for Maddy. It's a tape of a song we did with James. I want her to have a copy." Donna hands over the microcassette labeled "'Just You,' from James Hurley and the Hurlettes' upcoming recording debut, Low Water Mark." Leland smiles even broader: "She told me all about this. She thought it was a very enjoyable experience." And how right she was. Except for the…oh, I give up. Anyway, she asks if he'll mail it to her and he comforts her that it won't be a problem at all. He turns his attention suddenly to those glasses, glaring with a look of real concern that just goes to show that even the most demented demon in town still knows an ocular fashion victim when he sees one. Even BOB is lurking inside, rolling his eyes and thinking about how strangely large they look on Donna's diminishing face, and this is a guy with a jean jacket, people, and an overall fashion aesthetic best described to the unacquainted as "The Nelson Brothers after a nuclear holocaust." The reason he asked, though, is because the glasses were Laura's. Leland seems distracted as he ambles around the room, evilly. Donna quite rudely lights a smoke without even asking, and then informs Leland about Laura's secret diary that turned up at Harold Smith's house, which Leland knew nothing about. Leland advances on Donna for no apparent reason as Angelo Badalamenti works his orchestra to the bone trying to invent a chord that's so minor it's, like, really minor, in order to instill this scene with an ounce of the dramatic tension the director really wants it to have. It doesn't. The phone rings, and Leland answers to assure a woman named "Beth" that he dropped Maddy off at the bus station himself. He hangs up and tells Donna, "It's the strangest thing. She never made it home." Donna expresses furrowed-brow concern (natch), but Leland pops a stick of gum and tells Donna not to worry about a thing. He walks over to the mirror and stares into it, and the slowest pan in the history of moving picture technology shows us who's staring back at him. It's BOB. Try to keep the shock at bay, people. Oh, and he's chewing gum also, which makes him look really angry as well. It's Pure Chewing-of-scenery Satisfaction!

An indeterminate, lemonade-accessing time later, Donna faces the mantel staring at Laura's prom photo when she feels a hand on her shoulder and wheels around and gasps like the heroine in the cheap horror movie this episode has turned into. Donna pisses and moans that she thought she could see Maddy any time she wanted, but Leland assures her she's taking this whole death thing too seriously and that there's only one way to "cure what ails" her. Anyone wanna guess? Who's got an inkling? It's dancing. But, then, you knew that, didn't you? Leland walks to the phonograph and puts the needle on some kind of shuffly player piano Ol' West Before the Saloon Doors Open and the Villain Strides In theme, and takes Donna's hand. Oh, and how they dance. Until, that is, the needle hits an indistinguishable point on the record, and Leland grabs her suddenly and hugs her real tight. More gasping. Doorbell. Leland loosens his grip and warns her not to go anywhere, then opens the door for Truman, who tells him that they need some further help on the murder case. Leland leaves, the picture of civic-minded calm.

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Twin Peaks

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