Twin Peaks
Episode Twenty-Six

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Djb: C | Grade It Now!
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Bottle of red, bottle of white

Double R. Shelley sits at a booth, fidgeting with her watch, while Bobby -- HI, BOBBY! You don't call, you don't write, you don’t, apparently, bathe -- sits next to her, pretending he hasn't missed an episode. He reinserts himself thusly: "Shel, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the future, and what it takes to get ahead in the world." Yes, Bobby, what's the secret? "Beautiful people get everything they want." He uses this as a means of reintroducing the flyer for Miss Twin Peaks, telling her, "Once you get that crown on your head, the sky's the limit." He tells her she has to "enlist" by this afternoon, which I don't think was the word he was going for. Shelley grabs the flyer all angrily and gambols off, past a table containing the Mayor and his young Robyn-Lively-esque bride, who tells her husband that she wants to win the Miss Twin Peaks contest, reminding him, "You're one of the judges!" This exchange is cut mercifully short by the gamboling in of Cooper, who bids Annie "Be My Yoko, Oh No" Blackburn a fond hello behind the counter. He tells her, "I've got four hungry lawmen out in the police cruiser. We need donuts. And coffee." She tells him she'll be right out with that, but before she gets away, Cooper continues, "And I'd like to ask you if you'd like to accompany me on a nature study this afternoon." She accepts his offer, and he tells her that he gets "a tingling sensation" in his stomach whenever he talks to her. So do I. It's called "pity." Shelley, nonplussed about the whole Bobby-is-now-kind-of-ugly unfortunate reemergence of earlier in this scene, sulks over the cash register: "What is all this sweet work worth, if thou not kissed me?" Cooper looks up and asks what she just said. Shelley pulls her shred of the "anonymous poem" out of her bag, reminding Cooper and us and the world that she received a third, and so did Donna and Audrey, recalling the finer moments of the "and you'd had a letter, and you'd had a letter, and you'd had a letter" sequence of the Clue movie before the rest of the cast finds their voice and screams back, as I am screaming now, "Get on with it!" Yoko returns with the coffee and Cooper makes haste out of the front door, smiling long enough to tell Yoko that he'll see her this afternoon at four.

Police station. Truman yokels his way through this scene, sounding out the shards of the poem Earle sent to Shelley because, for some reason, the people on this show actually seem to be getting dumber, asking, "What's this all about?" Cooper thinks it's time for us to know what we have never, ever known: "It's a poem, Harry." Rather than, say, a Hummel figurine or a used Chevy or several of the other things it could so easily be mistaken for. Truman asks with concern, "You mean Windom's contacted all three girls? Are you sure?" Cooper again recites the poem's first two lines, which I believe I transcribed verbatim the same day as I filed my workman's comp complaint for having typed those same letters into eternity, nailing it home, "It's a poem I once sent to Caroline." No! Love makes Cooper stupid and shows slow. Cooper continues, "I hope it's nothing more than a taunt, Harry. Earle takes perverse pride in his ability to insinuate himself into innocent people's lives." Hawk enters just then with Donna's section of the poem, and reminds us that he couldn't track down Audrey's piece of the puzzle because she's in Seattle until tomorrow. Hawk also delivers the news that Major Briggs has arrived at the station, but before he takes his leave of the room, Cooper asks, "Would you please bring me Leo Johnson's arrest report?" Truman: "Leo?" Hawk: "On only the purest of hearts and of the arrest report the wings of solemn sparrows do glide." Okay, not really. He doesn't actually say anything. He just leaves, and Truman stays one step behind at all points, inquiring, "Leo?" Cooper smiles big as he holds the two pieces of paper in each hand and notes, "Putting the pieces together, Harry." Cut from the final script, I guess, was the part where Harry looks up at him and smiles all dumb, "Like, literally. Pieces. I get it. Do we gonna solve da murder, Mr. Policeman? A-yuck, a-yuck, a-yuck." Seriously, when did they turn him into such a bumpkin?

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Twin Peaks

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