Twin Peaks
Episode Twenty-Six

Episode Report Card
Djb: C | Grade It Now!
Bottle of red, bottle of white

Wine. Drinks. Social discomfort. Twee ascots. You'd think they'd be more full on wine. With all this filler.

Cooper sits in what I think is a newly-invented room of the Great Northern, when an apparently wasted Billy Zane ambles in, sits down next to him like the guy who refuses to check his luggage on an airplane (or his rancid, lurking smarm), and compromises the social nicety of not talking to people who are simply SO DAMN MUCH BETTER THAN YOU by observing to Cooper, "Love is hell." Right. Love is hell, roses are red, raw is war, clichés are those. Cooper's drinking milk. Yay, Coop! Taste that bouquet. Cooper notes to Wheeler that "the Hindus say that love is a ladder to heaven." They espouse on the pain that love causes, Billy Zane telling Cooper, "I am roped, tied, and rabid." Ew. Cooper explains that it feels like someone is taking a crowbar to his heart, straining the blue-collar steel-factory-worker metaphor a little with the unnecessary addition of, "I think it's been locked away long enough." They toast to Cooper's innate superiority in every way (okay, they toast to "love," but we know the truth), until a concierge delivers a telegram to Wheeler. He reads and exclaims to the concierge, "Bellman, will you kindly tell the front desk I'll be checking out." He nods a vague goodbye at Cooper and walks the wrong way -- that way being "not into the blazing fire" -- out of the room.

And finally, under the moonlit, fake-CGIed light of nighttime, we're back at The Gazebo Of Audience Protested Love, this time the site of the far less disturbing specter of police lights and Truman warning Cooper, "We thought it was a bomb." Inside the gazebo lies a huge wooden box, on which is a lever and a frilly calligraphy sign (thanks, Mr. Tremayne) reading, "Pull me." Heh. Cooper looks up at said box and taps into an emotional connection to the material that we haven't seen from his character in a while (at least this time the wooden box he's acting opposite is an actual wooden box), speeching, "Harry, there was a time when I could comprehend with a high degree of clarity Windom Earle's twisted logic. But his actions of late have left me completely bewildered. He's changing the pattern of the game board. Any hope of deducing his next move has evaporated." And thus, The Abandon Hope Of Continuity All Ye Who Enter Here rationalizes and discards Earle's no-longer-calculated foray into madness. I, for one, am really looking forward to it. Cooper has Andy back up the gathering crowd, then hands a rock to Harry and wraps a piece of police tape around it. He walks right up to the box then, attaches the tape to the box, backs up way behind the truck, and shoots the box open in a bit of confusing methodology that occurred mostly with Cooper blocking our view of it. Uh-oh. Total cameras remaining: one. Total directors: zero. Total viewers: fewer, somehow. The box shoots open, and Stryper lies all dead inside the chess piece, wearing a sign that reads, "Next time it will be someone you know." But we all knew Stryper. And I think, maybe just a little, we all felt their loss on so many levels.

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Twin Peaks




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