Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: C+ | 3 USERS: B
It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously on The Vampire Diaries, Stefan Salvatore, who has been "17" years old since 1864 (don't look at the crow's feet), remained in the shadows for a century or so, until he saw Elena Gilbert, the doppelganger of his sire/lover, Katherine. He "had" to know Elena y'all, so he leapt into the sunshine of her love and despite being a vampire, he didn't burn up or nothin', on account of his magic ring. Everything was aces until Elena figured out Stefan's fangy secret, and actually had the ovaries to break up with him, like a real girl would, if she met an actual vampire. To Stefan's chagrin, Elena wasn't the only one paying attention to the spooky goings on around town. The Founders Council (of Watchers [i.e. F'n CoW]) including Sheriff Forbes and (the now late) Logan "Scum" Fell, caught onto the fact that their town is once again infested with vampires. Don't blame Stefan. He only eats animals. All the hullabaloo is thanks to Stefan's good looking bad-boy brother, Damon, who sired Matt "Pudding Pop" Donovan's druggie sister, Vicki, and then set the new "vampire with issues" loose on the town, where she promptly tried to eat her boyfriends Tyler ('Roid Rage) and Jeremy (Germ), and I don't mean porn. When that didn't work, she tried to eat Jeremy's sister, Elena, and I still don't mean porn. Stefan had to stake Vicki to save Elena's life (no porno). Recently orphaned Germ saw the whole thing and promptly fell apart, so, Elena and Stefan set aside all common sense and had Damon use his vampyric powers of compulsion to make Germ forget the gristly way in which Vicki met her end. No links this weeks, babies. Two of my kids are down with two seemingly different illness, and their illnesses always come with the gift of compulsion too, so I can't tell if I'm sick in the body, or just (still) sick in the head. But this is a brand new series, so you can figure out what happened when from the recaps and recaplets, right? Tch. Thank you. You're not only good looking; you're as smart as you are sweet. So anyhow, that was then. This is...

Now: it's nighttime at Mossy Manse. Stefan wakes from a little snooze in the parlor and picks up the book he let slip to the floor during his impromptu nap. When he rises, something catches his attention. A little noise here. A little flitting figure there. He calls out for Damon, not for help, sillies. He just thinks Damon is having some of his sadistic version of fun at Stefan's expense. The whatever-it-is comes out of wherever-it-was and knocks him flat. It's a vampire, a blonde, female vampire, and she's locked in vamp mode and loaded for bear. Or vamp. You get the picture. As she growls at him, Stefan's expression relaxes from alarmed to confused. "Lexi?" Once she devamps and smiles at him, I can see that she is the adorable Arielle Kibbel, Dean's wife, Lindsay, on Gilmore Girls. For shits and giggles, I totally want to see Supernatural bring her on for a one off, call her character Rory, and hook her up with Sam (and Dean, but I digress). Lexi greets Stefan with a cheeky, dimpled smile and whips him up to his feet. They embrace and Lexi wishes Stefan a happy birthday. And... scene.

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Vampire Diaries




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