Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: C+ | 3 USERS: B
It's My Party And I'll Cry If I Want To

Mystic Falls; Downtown: Caroline, wearing her hair in two ponytails, struts down the street, and as her smile turns to a grimace, we know Damon must be there, even before he's on screen. When he won't let her pass, she stops in front of him. "Look, Dungeon Boy, I'm done being your little slave girl. You seriously hurt me, and I will be damned if you think..." Damon turns on the thrall and suddenly she's pathetically compliant little Caroline from weeks ago, who lives and dies for Dungeon Boy. Hats off to Candice Accola for the transition. He compels her to throw a party at the Grill that night, and invite everyone, including Stefan and his BFF (who is a female, be-fanged BFF, so does that make her his FBfBFF?) so he can solve the town's "little vampire problem." He orders Caroline to get his crystal back from Bonnie, too.

Mossy Manse: Lexi assures Stefan that "this Elena girl" will come around eventually. She asks if they've had sex yet. Stefan smiles. "Nooooo." Lexi reminds him that vampire sex always works on the humans. And who am I to say, but there are times when super-human speed and inhuman force aren't exactly two tickets to paradise. I'm just sayin'... Stefan says he's setting aside all the vamp tricks like sex and compulsion. He wants Elena to come to him on her own terms. Confusing boredom for hunger, Lexi pops a straw into an I.V. bag of blood, like it was a juice bag. I'll never look at my kids drinking Capri Sun in the same way, again. I'd link to Capri Sun for you, but I want to see if those new Bing links do it. I always crack up when Bing links to the word vampire in one of these weecaps. Cash back on everything, Bing? Everything? Weecap. Right. Sorry. Lexi explains that she used to date a phlebotomist and he sets her up with bags of blood, but that doesn't stop Stefan from standing up and backing away. He says he's not judging her, which is debatable, although it's clear from his (general) ease in her company that he's terribly fond of her. The big point in of this scene is that he doesn't trust himself enough to try a little bagged blood. He's afraid it will lead him back to more deadly pursuits. Lexi tried the animal blood diet for three weeks once, but she couldn't hack it. She admires his resolve. So Lexi's like the kid that drank abusively in college, but wasn't actually addicted to hooch, grew up, and was able to dabble without problem, whereas Stefan lives as an addict-in-recovery.

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Vampire Diaries




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