Vampire Diaries
All My Children

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B- | 4 USERS: A+
Someone Just Shot A Panda Bear
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Hi everyone, and welcome back. It's the morning after Esther's grand ball. Elena calls Stefan, but he ignores his phone, because he's writing in his diary! Hi, little vampire diary. I remember you. I wish I knew what Stefan just wrote in you.

Vampire Diary: Remember how, back in the first season, you used to refer to the diary voice-over segments as DIARY-Ahhh?

Recapper: Yep.

Vampire Diary: Well then, maybe you shouldn't have been so mean, not to mention nasty.

Recapper: There are enough sullen, vengeful characters in this episode. I don't need to import any into the recap. Besides, I just walked over to the TV and read you.

Vampire Diary: wallowing in self-loathing. Better to close it off, bury it,

Recapper: Oh, Stefan. Have you considered therapy? So, gentle readers, where were we? Right. Next, Elena calls Damon, reminds him she called him ten times the night before, and tells him they need to talk. He's too bitter to listen, even though he's still in bed with Rebekah. What's the point of having two men on the hook, if you can't get either of them to pay a little heed?

Elena: I know, right? I tell him if he's mad at me, he needs to get over it.

Elena Haters: We hate you, Elena. Go die in a fire.

Damon: Heh. Oh, I'm over it.

Elena will not be ignored, so she hauls her cookies over to Mossy Manse, only to come face to face with Rebekah. She and her self-healing ball gown are just leaving. I am not going to a walk-of-shame place, because I think the public discourse is currently overloaded with judgments on female sexuality. Besides, Rebekah isn't ashamed. She's pleased as punch to rub her raunchy rendezvous in Elena's face.

Rebekah: Indeed. I'm also pleased Elena doesn't know how rude Damon just was. Ta ta for now.

Title Card.

Elena isn't pleased with Damon, for a number of reasons -- not least of all because Rebekah just tried to kill her. She asks Damon if this is how it's going to be -- she hurts his feelings, so he lashes out at her.

Damon: And she's totally right, but I tell her maybe, for once, something I did has nothing to do with her.

Elena tells Damon about Esther's linking spell and her plan to kill her spawn. He thinks that's nifty.

Damon: And keen. So Elena, why do you look like someone just shot a Panda Bear?

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Vampire Diaries




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