Vampire Diaries

Episode Report Card
Cindy McLennan: B | 2 USERS: B+
No Peace I Find
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!
Previously on The Vampire Diaries: For over a century, vampire Stefan Salvatore has lived in secret -- until now. He has to know her. She is the recently orphaned Elena Gilbert and by the end of The Turning Point, they know each other in the biblical sense. But when Stefan leaves Elena alone in his bedroom, where he keeps anything that ever mattered to him, she finds an old (circa 1864) portrait of his late love, Katherine Pierce (who is magically sealed in a tomb under the old Falls Church ruins by her witch/handmaid Emily Bennett, ancestor of Elena's friend, Bonnie, who is also a witch, but much less a handmaid). When Elena realizes she is a dead ringer for Stefan's undead lady, she rips off her Vervain necklace (which protects her from being compelled) in a completely impractical hissy fit and then (understandably) flees Mossy Manse in her SUV. She speeds her way back home until she runs over some thing that goes bump in the night. Her SUV flips, but Elena is still conscious. She looks out the window only to see her victim reset his own bones. In other news, Bonnie learns that Stefan and Damon are vampires when she destroys Emily Bennett's magical crystal, and a new history teacher/Slayer/gaudy ring aficionado Alaric Saltzman arrives in town.

NOW: Stefan returns to his room to find Elena gone. Her necklace has been laid atop Katherine's portrait. He tries to phone Elena, but when she doesn't answer, the poor shirtless bloodsucker is forced to leave her an "I can explain" voicemail. It seems crass to eavesdrop, so let's just cover our ears and take in the scenery, dears. Ah, that's the stuff.

We get a brief replay of the accident. A boogedy-boogedy appears in the middle of the road. Elena sees him -- but too late. She hits him and flips over her ride. She's still conscious, but is trapped upside down inside the wreck. Nina Dobrev's skin is so young that being upside-down has a minimal effect on her features. I'm pretty sure I'd look like the Joker. Damn it. Anyhow, whoever Elena hit is still moving. And now he's putting all the king's horses and all the king's men to shame as he resets his own broken bones. Humpty Dumpty rises and plods toward Elena. When he reaches her, he crouches down. His head is all but hidden by his hood. Elena's screams do not stop him, but something else does. He pauses and then zips away at vampyric speed.

Damon appears and frees Elena from what's left of her ride. Holding her like a newborn (I've seen comparisons to The O.C.'s version of the Pietà, but I'm ignoring them lalalalalala la) he asks if she can stand or if anything is broken. He takes her groans as the go-ahead to set her on her feet, but she's unsteady and having difficulty focusing. Finally she looks him in the eye. "I look like her." Damon looks like he'd appreciate the confirmation context provides, but he's not going to get it right now. Elena swoons (but in a faint-y way, not they way we do). He strokes her hair and lifts her back with an "Upsy Daisy," and after looking around the dark Virginia night, he carries her down the road, and a hundred bucks says he's not taking her back to Stefan. My word, Nina's hair is pretty. She must have extensions, right? And yet...if she does, those are the best extensions, ever. I always make much of the male eye-candy in this show, but the women are just as beautiful, and Dobrev leads the pack (and Graham, too).

Theme Song!

Oh and now Alaric has caught the DIARY-Ahhh. He and his conspicuous ring journal about his encounter with an actual vampire. "I found one, after years of research and study. There it was, right in front of me. I was terrified. As I stared it in the eyes, I drove a stake through its heart. I was right about Mystic Falls; there is evil here. I can sense it -- feel it. It's everywhere." Alaric's gaze lingers on the picture of his allegedly dead wife. He flashes back to waking her with an early morning kiss. She hates morning people, so she's probably going to LOVE whatever vampire does her in, AMIRITE? They exchange I-love-yous and I wonder when Mia Kirshner started to look like the three-way love child of Katie Holmes, Eliza Dushku and Shiri Appleby (calm down, boys).

As Damon drives an unconscious Elena down a rural road, Zach Roerig and Michael Trevino's names appear in the credits, but... ***SPOILERS***'s a dirty, dirty lie. Those pretty boys are not in this episode, and boo hiss for that. Anyhow, Elena comes to, and asks where they are. When Damon says they're in Georgia, Elena says they can't be. She's wrong. After Damon reassures her that he checked her all over for broken bones (oh, you know he copped a feel somewhere in there), Elena wants to talk about the accident. "I hit a man." Since Humpty Dumpty put himself together again, Damon, like Elena, wishes he knew who it was. Anyhow, Elena makes Damon pull over in order to give Stefan an opportunity to call her while she's outside with the Georgia sun beating down on her shiny shiny hair. Before Stefan picks up on his cue though, Elena moans and groans her way out of the car and Damon Stealth-Salvatores to her side, because he's nothing if not charming (in that serial killer way). She rants that she can't go to Georgia, because she wrecked her car and people will be worried about her, but Damon reminds her she's already in Georgia, "without your magical necklace, I might add. I could very easily make you... agreeable." When Elena asks him what he's trying to prove, her phone finally rings. Damon reveals he has it, and answers it like you knew the pixie-monster-bastard would. "Elena's phone." When Stefan wants to talk to Elena, she shakes Damon off, so he takes the opportunity to rub this in his brother's face. Stefan gets all puffed up about how Damon better not lay a hand on her. Stefan, relax dude. Her name's in the credits. Even if Damon kills her, it's only going to be a prelude to siring her. Back at Mossy Manse, Stefan throws his phone on the floor and picks up her Vervain necklace to drive home the point that Damon could enthrall her, which would be cool if Damon hadn't just literally driven home that very same point.

Back on the road, Damon cajoles Elena into going with him to "a little place, just outside of Atlanta." Her problems are still going to be there when she gets home. She can step away from her life for five minutes. Elena asks if she's going to be safe with him, because she knows Damon to be an honest soul that she can always trust...what? And she asks that he not enthrall her, because she knows Damon to be an honest soul that she can always trust...what Damon yes-es, her -- that is, until she outright asks if she can trust him, because she knows Damon is...Oh, come on. Even Damon has no patience for her sudden loss of intellect. Rather than answer her, he hustles her back in the car.

Mystic Falls High School Parking Lot: As Alaric rifles through his car, Jeremy walks up and greets him. Alaric is looking for his conspicuous ring, which he explains he took off before going to the gym. Alaric is protected by shade for almost all of this scene, so he could be a vampire vampire-slayer, but the sun does hit on his hands once or twice before he finds the bling, and there's no sizzle, so I'm going out on a limb and saying he's not. He slides it on and blathers about how terrible it would be to lose a family heirloom. Jeremy -- whose suffering was removed thanks to

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Vampire Diaries




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