Vampire Diaries
The Hybrid

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Well, I guess it's safe to say the third season of The Vampire Diaries is off to a strong start. Two years ago, I never would have imagined appreciating this show the way I do, and on so many levels. I thought I was getting CW cheese with pretty pretty people. Oh, the people are still pretty, and maybe getting prettier, and there's cheese, but it is so very much not individually wrapped processed American Cheese Food slices. I have to drop the cheese metaphor now, because I was just going to start waxing (sorry) about how this cheese has a rind, and what the heck would I even mean by that?

The "Previouslies" remind us that both brothers Salvatore are in love with Elena, you know, in case we watched the first two seasons with our hands over our eyes and our fingers in our ears, which is tricky, but you can manage it, if you count thumbs as fingers (some people don't and what's up with those freaks -- no, seriously, I've had arguments about this). I see you trying it, goobers. Stop that. People will point and laugh. They also remind us that Stefan martyred/is martyring himself in service of Klaus, in return for Damon's life, and that Klaus is a vampire/werewolf hybrid. Did we settle on "werepire" last season? Let's say we did. Jeremy has been seeing dead people ever since Bonnie brought him back from the dead. Caroline and Tyler have the supernatural hots for each other. Damon and Elena are tracking Stefan and find evidence that he's gone full blown Ripper, again, but Stefan still loves Elena enough to crank call her on her birthday, so maybe he's only 97 percent gone.

Mossy Manse: This week, we open on Damon watching a news report about Andie Star's death, to which he was an eyewitness, in the last episode. I'd feel worse for him, if he hadn't compelled her to be his chew toy in the first place, but I'd also be lying if I said I didn't feel a little sorry for him, because you know he was fond of her, and our Evil Pixie Monster's moral compass is never going to give us true north. Love is his only code, which -- when you dig down deep, may be true of Stefan and Elena, too.

Speaking of Elena, here she is. As Damon removes all the articles and such from his Stefan-stalking closet, Elena asks Damon why he's been dodging her calls. Damon: "Yeah well, busy dating my dead fake girlfriend and all." Elena: "Why didn't you tell me?" Damon: "Happy Birthday, Elena. Stefan killed Andie! Cake?" Hee. And you know, I love Elena, but it tickles me that she only cares about Andie's death for a second and only then because Stefan caused it, not because poor Andie is gone.

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Vampire Diaries

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