Windfall
The Getaway

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M. Giant: D+ | Grade It Now!
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Mo' Money, Mo' Problems
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

A stack of bills pours out of an ATM machine in close-up, like someone stuck a winning lottery ticket directly into the card slot. And then Kimberly the Ex-Pizza Lady is being interviewed on the news. "Can you describe the feeling of winning all those millions?" the reporter asks. Kimberly does so by abruptly bursting into tears. So do I, but for different reasons.

Peter and Nina are also being interviewed in front of their house. Peter says that he can fix the porch now, and Nina nervously gropes the microphone as she blathers about being able to pay for school field trips and tuition for their kids. "I can take care of my family now," Peter says. "Is that a great feeling or what?" Especially in light of the fact that your wife won by playing the birthday of your best friend, her ex-boyfriend, on the night you saw them talking intensely. That's how you know angels are at work.

Some curly-haired geek is still pulling money out of an ATM. He's clearly been there a while, because there's a line forming behind him. He'd better hope none of those people are strapped.

The reporter ambushes Cameron and Beth as they're getting out of their car. They clearly aren't so thrilled to be on the telly, but Beth is a little more gracious about it than Cameron. Not by much, though.

And now we see what the story is with the guy at the ATM machine, as he gets his turn in front of the news cameras. Remember how there are twenty winners, and we only met about half of them? Here's one we haven't met. He was emptying out the ATM machine in order to have a bunch of bills sewn into a suit jacket, in which he's now appearing on the news. And I don't mean sewn into the lining; I mean he's got a suit jacket made out of twenties. Of course, it's illegal to show real money on TV, which is why Andrew Jackson looks more like John Lithgow in the close-up. Aside from the crime of defacing American currency, the guy has compounded his fashion crime by having the bills arranged horizontally instead of vertically, which would have been much more slimming. And so then the moron gets ready to light a cigar wrapped in another bill. We're supposed to believe that this dorkwad was at a party with Jason Gedrick and Luke Perry? Funny how such a loser became such a big winner, which, of course, only turned him into an even bigger loser.

Among a crowd of other students at his school, Damien's being asked by the news reporter whether he plans to continue his education. Damien smirks, "Absolutely. Just not in school." Frankie admiringly looks on from a distance, hanging with her homies. Because spoiled, rich dropouts are hot.

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Windfall

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