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Law & Order: Bad For Your Fat Ass

by Lauren Gitlin September 9, 2008 5:29 pm
<i>Law & Order</i>: Bad For Your Fat Ass

I'm being serious! According to a recently published report, Law & Order and so-called "must-bleed" TV shows of its ilk (CSI, Criminal Minds, The Closer and what have you) that depict death and violence are linked to people buying and eating more food. Something about when being faced with one's own mortality -- because violent, ripped-from-the-headlines murders really get you thinking on a deeper level -- it's easier to rationalize eating that entire can of Pringles. Not that I've done that.

Says the study's author, "Consumers, especially those with a lower self-esteem, may be more susceptible to overconsumption when confronted with images of death during the news or their favorite crime scene investigation shows." First of all, my self-esteem is fine, thank you very much. And secondly, are you calling me fat?

On the real, though, it'd be so nice if getting rid of my muffin-top was as easy as curbing my Jerry Orbach (in reruns, obvs) addiction. If we're gonna start making pronouncements about TV's ability to affect our behavior, it's not that big of a stretch to start justifying school shootings as the product of heavy metal and video games. ...Oh, wait.

So following the same rationale, if I wanted to lose weight, perhaps I should start watching shows that either deal with mortality not at all or deal with it in a way that's the opposite of its usual characterization. This leaves me with cartoons and shows about vampires, both of which I already watch. Then again, I've never attempted to cease all L&O viewing while simultaneously relegating my TV viewing to exclusively Spongebob and True Blood. This should make for an interesting "diet!" Hell, I'll give it a whirl! What do I have to lose, after all? Except a jean size or two. I'll report back on my findings! Toodeloo!

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