The Telefile
<I>New Girl</i>: Roommate Do’s and Don’ts of the Week

While I had a bunch of problems with last week's episode, "Cooler" was almost entirely fantastic. And not just because it finally addressed all of the Nick/Jess 'shippers out there in the universe, but because it revived the wonderful game True American. A game only rivaled by Calvinball in my opinion, and I'd very much like to play if ever I can figure out the rules and/or have enough drunken history buff friends around. Anyway, with all that said, here's why this episode did 97 percent of the right things.

- Nick was in a woman's trenchcoat: "And it has room for your hips."
- Schmidt having trouble self-pleasuring, even with the door wide open: "I even bought myself a sexy pair of underpants to spice things up."
- Jess optimistically wanting to go help the guys get their collective groove back: "World's best wingwoman, reporting for duty."
- Jess finding out that she's a cooler, putting a damper on all things sexual: "All I do is help you get laid, Nick. "
- Honesty is the best policy: "It's not you, it's the way that you behave and the look on your face... it is you. You're the cooler."
- Pre-game bathroom dance party: "Get crunk with us bro. "
- Schmidt and his antiquted language: "I can't believe you got us kicked out of the discotheque." - Jess being bored and making a stuffed Nick, then running around the house with no bottoms and no top and doing Olympic reenactments.
- The term: "Bitch blankey"
Holly (Brooklyn Decker) who really likes sad guys and Nick and Schmidt trying to out-sad each other: "He's really happy. He's got a 401K and a six-pack."
- Brooklyn Decker in general in this episode. Pretty great and not at all as distracting as I had feared she would be.
- How Jess finally convinces Nick that she's really scared: "I think it might be gang-related. I've always been worried about my blue curtains."
- Conversations that we'd like to be privy to in the loft: "You never listen during pipe talk."
- Nick on the scarecrow version of himself: "You drew my face on a melon? "
- A fun drunken game for all: "True American - but with sexy new Clinton rules. Pick your intern."
- We're always welcoming a well-placed quick Homeland reference: "It's Abu Nazir!"
- Schmidt on losing weight is better than any of the Arizona stuff on Grey's Anatomy: "It's been replaced with phantom fat. I still feel it jiggle."
- Jess trying to hook Nick and Holly up: "Two of us have to go behind the iron curtain, which is that door there, and kiss. There has to be a clear and present threat of tongue."
- After the loftmates (and their female guests) start chanting for a real kiss between Nick and Jess: "Let's just suck it up and French a little."
- The entire awkward exchange of near kisses with Nick, including, but not limited, to him climbing out the window in a nearly suicidal manner in order to avoid kissing her "like this" when even her boyfriend Sam was game for them to have the modern version of seven minutes in heaven.
- Cece's very confused date on her ex: "I'm sorry? You loved that small shiny man?"
- Schmidt's continued hatred of all things related to Cece dating: "I don't really know what that accent is... I speak English, that didn't sound like it."
- Winston's awesome, not-really-engaged dating guru Daisy judging his kissing: "C-minus. You kiss like a damn bitch."
- Winston showing his concern in the most compelling of ways: "We will talk about this in the morning, but first... I'm gonna go do things with a girl."
- The angry neighbor woman who thinks (rightly) that all things in this apartment are way weird.
- The instantly infamous kiss. And the way that Nick ran to protect Jess from the scratching and then just kissing the hell out of her.
- Sam being creeped out by the stuffed Nick, but oblivious to the real Nick kissing his girlfriend.
- Did we mention that kiss?

- Jess being bored and using a cardboard box to make a robot shape.
- We'll give Jess being scared since she did think her student was going to murder her last week, but making a blanket fort? Really? How old is she?
- Jess' desperate plea: "Never leave me alone again. "
- Cece's weepy boyfriend at the movies; she obviously needed an easy reason not to like this guy, but still.

Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your next show starts.




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.



The Telefile

The Latest Activity On TwOP