Here's what I know about Brad Garrett: He starred on the ubiquitous Everybody [Except For Me] Loves Raymond. He is very tall. He is hairy. He has an annoying adenoidal register that makes him sound like a cartoon elephant with a sinus infection. He hates the paparazzi. Up until now I figured I could skate through life on this bare-bones knowledge. But the universe had other plans! Thanks to the fine folks at Videogum [via Variety], I now know that he's on the hunt for a wifey, he's suffering a mid-life crisis, and he is close friends with his urologist.

Not satisfied to exploit every inch of his own being and empire, Donald Trump has resorted to pimping out his daughter Ivanka for a new reality dating show called Date My Daughter. To quote the press release/casting call: "'Date My Daughter,' starring Donald Trump and his daughter Ivanka, features dads helping their daughters find true love, with daddy's approval [Ed's note: PUKE! Any grown woman who calls her father "daddy" needs to quit it. NOW.] Casting producers are looking for socialites [Eds' note: Again, puke.] between the ages of 21-30 years old who are attractive, possess a great attitude and a generous spirit. The dads should be affluent and interested in helping their daughters find true love." Here's a thought. Maybe these "affluent dads" should mind their own damned business and/or explore why they take such an abiding interest in their daughters' dating practices. In therapy.