Matthew Weiner has been extremely hush-hush about the upcoming Season 5 of Mad Men, to say the least. While we haven't even seen a teaser trailer with any new content, we feel confident that we know a few things that won't happen on the critically acclaimed drama. Here are all of the things we can be certain we won't see from the extended Sterling-Cooper-Draper-Pryce gang this year.

We're not sure that anyone actually demanded an inside look at Paris Hilton's life, but nevertheless, Oxygen is rolling out The World According to Paris this week. To be honest, we'll probably tune in only because we think she's strangely fascinating and, whether you like it or not, extremely talented in the art of self-promotion (for example: a show called The World According to Paris airing on Oxygen). But with that said, there are plenty of other celebrities that we would've rather seen as the focus of a series like this. Here's just a few: