The Telefile
Shows NFL Stars Should Join in Lieu of a Football Season Next Fall

With the NFL labor dispute going from bad to worse on Friday with Tom Brady vs. the NFL being filed (and several other players filing suit shortly after), we have to consider the possibility of a shortened or even non-existent (not likely, but not impossible, either) pro football season come fall. If that happens, what will the star players and coaches do with all that free time? Relax? Spend time with their families? Lounge poolside and count their money? Probably, but on the off-chance that they want to keep their profiles elevated without getting arrested for something, they could also guest-star on these appropriate TV shows.

Michael Vick, The Vampire Diaries
Sure, sure, he did his time, said he's sorry and even played a great season, but can America really forgive Michael Vick until he's been torn apart by a pack of werewolves on The CW? It's worth finding out.

Troy Polamalu, Shear Genius
And the greatest hair model of our time is born. Ladies and gents, get ready to spend exorbitant amounts of money on the must-have haircut of the fall: The Polamalu.

Greg Jennings, Smallville
You know what that show needs? A superhero who can run a 90-yard touchdown with a broken leg [NSFW]. Also, someone who can put the entire Justice League on his back.

Bill Belichick, Covert Affairs
Meet your new black ops surveillance expert, CIA.

Jay Cutler, V
Don't know who he'd play, but they do have a common endlessly missed potential and they're both huge choke artists in their respective fields. (And yes, there is still a sliver of a chance that this show could come back in the fall.)

Brett Favre, Hot in Cleveland
Because the only person old and horny enough to outdo those three ladies is Brett Favre. Plus, Favre getting fixated on Betty White during filming is the sports scandal that dreams are made of.

Peyton Manning, Raising Hope
Peyton Manning is a genuinely funny guy, and Raising Hope is a genuinely funny show. That's the only reason. It definitely has nothing to do with certain hayseed accents complementing each other.

Ben Roethlisberger, The Bad Girls Club
Because let's just say that those ladies can handle themselves.

Julius Peppers, Paula Deen's Home Cooking
Peppers in butter. Peppers fried in butter. Buttered peppers deep-fried in butter in a butter sauce. He'd return to the NFL 60 pounds heavier and possibly hit in the head with a canned ham. Wouldn't that be delightful?

Tom Brady, Secret Millionaire
Because you'd never know it from that hair.

Mark Sanchez, Glee
And the NFL loses a quarterback and Fox gains a permanent cast member, as never again shall show tunes and dimples be rent in twain.

Your ideas? Leave them in the comments!

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