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The Hell?

by Mindy Monez August 5, 2008 10:33 am
Joss Stone is joining the cast of The Tudors. And no, this is not some different show called The Tudors, it's the Showtime period drama. And no, she won't be playing some court jester-y Aretha Franklin impersonator (they had those), she'll be playing Anne of Cleves, the fourth wife of Henry VIII. I'm going to come clean here and admit that I don't know anything about Henry VIII or his wives except that he had mental problems and killed them all, so maybe Anne of Cleves was the one who didn't say much and just kind of belted out blue-eyed soul while barefoot, because that's the only way this stuntcasting makes any sense.

Joss Stone has pretty much no acting experience -- she was in that dragon movie nobody saw, Eragon, and an episode of American Dreams in which she played a character named "Lair Singer" -- and anyway, does Joss Stone have super fans? Like the kind who will follow her anywhere, even to an old timey Showtime drama nobody cares about anymore? I honestly don't know the answer to that question, but I can say that I don't know anyone who, like, loooooves Joss Stone, and she hardly makes a blip on the tabloid radar (that whole "fucks for tracks" thing would have been massive, had it been about anyone else but she's so damn boring), so, what? Did Showtime cast her on acting merit? Have they fallen and hit their heads on something hard? This is worse than the time The West Wing was like, "Jorja Fox as a hard-boiled secret service agent? Let's give it a whirl!" The slippery slope of stuntcasting is dangerous for my emotional well-being is all I'm saying. And that if Enya or somebody joins Burn Notice, I am gonna lose it.

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