The Telefile
The Six Most Horrendous Things About the New Wonder Woman Costume

The first official photo of Adrianne Palicki in her Wonder Woman costume was released to Entertainment Weekly today, promptly causing the collective internet's eyes to bleed. Judging by this costume, the David E. Kelly show -- which has been asserting since the beginning that it would be a serious, non-campy take on the character -- either has no idea what "serious" and "non-campy" means, or it just changed its mind somewhere along the way. Let's just quickly go over the worst things about this twelve-dollar Halloween costume that will soon be the face of a very expensive major network television show. Oy.

The Shiny
The cheap vinyl looks like a cross between a costume you could buy at the drug store and the plastic they make kid's birthday party tablecloths out of. And why are the boots made out of that material, too? They couldn't spring for actual leather boots? Also, as our recapper Tippi Blevins pointed out to me, it looks squeaky as hell. How's a girl gonna sneak up on crooks when she's emitting the sounds of pleather in motion?

The Bracelets
They are made of tin foil. I know, because when I was five I made similar ones out of tin foil. And they looked about as good.

The Crotch Seam
Nothing more flattering than a giant seam down the crotch of a pair of liquid leggings. Sorry, did I say flattering? I meant camel toe-inducing. (Sorry, but it's true.)

The Way Too Bright Color
Candy apple red and blue raspberry Slurpee blue? Honestly, strippers wear less tacky hues.

The Hair
It looks like a wig in a bag. A greasy one. And who styled it? Me?

Apparently, an Outfit This Ugly Can Even Ruin a Face Like Adrianne Palicki's
Adrianne Palicki is a very beautiful woman. Everyone thinks so! But for some reason, with that hair, and that headband where it is, her face looks like a long, flat oval. A mannish one. That's how bad this costume is -- it makes Adrianne Palicki look like Chyna. Nice one, NBC.

Your thoughts? Please, do unleash them below.




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