The Telefile
<I>Forbidden Science</I> Experiments: What if Our Fave Shows Were on Cinemax?

You know, we've been occasionally tuning in to the new late-night Cinemax series Forbidden Science -- for research purposes, of course -- and we gotta say, it's got a real Fringe vibe to it. On the show, 4Ever Innovations is a company engaged in a lot of cutting-edge science -- clones, memory implants, robotics -- all of which somehow guarantee that its users will be having sex with somebody during the course of an episode. (Think Massive Dynamic from Fringe, but with intentions as erotic as their name.) And it got us thinking... what if other popular shows were adapted for late-night Cinemax viewing? We've eroticized some of our favorites to see how they stack up.

Lost Inhibitions (Lost)
After a plane crash, the survivors of Oceanic Flight 369 find themselves stranded on a mysterious, sexy island. There's a lot of suggestive whispering in the jungle, and a French woman keeps saying dirty things on a loop over the radio. Trying to discover the source of the island's magical erotic powers, the survivors stumble upon a hatch, part of an abandoned sexual research lab, where the pleasure centers of people's brains were poked and prodded until the fabric of space and time was torn asunder, and if they don't stimulate somebody's G-spot every 108 minutes, the island will explode.

Smallville Nights (Smallville)
By day, Clark Kent is a reporter for The Daily Planet. By night, he helps the helpless, protecting them from the evil that lurks in the darkness, and the loneliness that can come, as well. Frequenting the bars and nightclubs of Metropolis, Clark seeks out the solitary and helps them make a love connection, be it with the boy or girl of their dreams or the man or woman of their wildest fantasies. And once he's creepily watched the couple consummate their affair, he vanishes into a night like a red-blue blur, mourning for the girl he loves that he can never touch. Because she's radioactive.

36-24-36 (24)
In this real-time series, we follow the minute-by-minute life of Jackie Bauer, a voluptuous secret agent from the Counter-Terrorism Unit, as she tries to stop a plot to detonate a bomb in downtown Las Vegas, while simultaneously trying to rescue a hot kidnapped Middle Eastern prince. Preferring to get information using her body instead of bullets, Bauer uses the art of strip-tease as an interrogation technique and relies on her deadly lovemaking skills to knock out guards, and she'll cut a swath through L.A.'s underground until she gets her man, in all senses of the word.

Dominatrix: The Sarah Connor Chronicles (Terminator, etc.)
Sarah Connor is trying to prevent a future where her son has to lead the tattered remnants of humanity in a battle against the machines. But in the meantime, she needs to put food on the table, so she takes a part-time job as a dominatrix. When she's not whipping Terminator butt on the streets, she's whipping her clients' butts in the basement. And if she ever needs the night off, she lets her son's personal Terminator, Cameron, fill in for her. The nubile robot has the whole emotionless thing down pat, but she needs to dial back on her whipping speed a little bit.

Desperate Behavior (Desperate Housewives)
Wisteria Lane may seem like an ordinary neighborhood, but behind the closed doors, scandalous behavior abounds. The housewives trade husbands like some neighbors borrow sugar, and... it's pretty much the same as Desperate Housewives, except we actually see them having sex.

Anatomically Correct (Grey's Anatomy)
The doctors at Seattle Grace hospital are under constant pressure to save lives, and are always looking to blow off some steam. That's why the hospital windows are always steamed up! The doctors hook up whenever and wherever they can -- in offices, on operating tables, in supply closets, in the morgue -- and they'll try any combination available. Gay, straight, lesbian... these words lose all meaning when you're trying to deal with the grief of losing a patient. What, you have a problem with homosexuality? Then go watch the all-straight spin-off, Privates Practicing.

Passionstar Orgasmica (Battlestar Galactica)
Refugees from a destroyed planetary system are on the run from sexy robots, until some of them find out that their sexual partners are the same robots that are hunting them down, and yet they still have sex with them. ...Naw, that one's a little too far-fetched.

What show would you like to see as a late-night Cinemax series? ...You know, if you watched that sort of thing. Sound off below!




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