The Telefile
<I>Charlie’s Angels</I>: Fall’s Most Mediocre New Drama

ABC's new Charlie's Angels isn't the worst remake that we've ever seen (we're still leaning towards Knight Rider for that dishonor), it's not exactly what you'd call Emmy-bait (though it isn't trying to be), it doesn't have the most attractive cast on TV (Vampire Diaries probably wins that one) and it definitely doesn't have the most kick-ass girl action scenes (we tip our hat to Nikita ), but with all that said, it's not the worst show to premiere this fall. It isn't even that bad when all is said and done. It's just that it falls in the unfortunate position of being average -- not great, not appallingly awful, just there. And unless it garners some Big Bang Theory-style ratings, it probably won't be there for long.

The premise is the same as the original series and the subsequent movies: Three young ladies, saved from prison sentences by a mysterious man named Charlie Townsend, work together to take down criminals in unconventional ways. In this version, the three ladies are Abby (Rachael Taylor), think Serena van der Woodsen turned catburgler; Gloria (Nadine Velasquez), a former military gal who made a wrong decision; and Kate (Annie Ilonez), a dirty cop. As the pilot begins, they're trying stop a kidnapping ring when Gloria falls victim to a car explosion (which is so obviously shot that even an Amish person who'd never seen TV before could see it coming) and dies, immediately putting a wrench in their happy little family. Yes, most of these characters are orphaned or have severe family issues, so they've bonded together on the lovely beaches of Miami in order to soothe their pain away with kickboxing, Parkour-style wall-climbing and heaps of sunshine.

The Angels try to pin the explosion on Eve (Minka Kelly), who used to "work" with Gloria back in her carjacking days, but it turns out that Eve was actually trying to help Gloria on some secret case to take down Carlos Bernard (the former Tony Almeida on 24, now an El Salvadoran crime lord who specializes in trafficking young women). With the help of Bosley (Ramon Rodriguez), the gals are able to easily deal with any sort of problems that get in their way and eventually take down the person who once tried to kidnap Gloria and Eve from their South American orphanage before they went all it's-a-hard-knock-life on his ass and slapped him in the face with a statue. Obviously, Charlie is impressed with Eve's skills and taps her to be the new Angel, and the girls all lounge around on his yacht and compare shoes and make plans to share wardrobes.

For those in love with Minka Kelly (and yes, she's quite stunning) this show will appeal visually. And for those who can't get enough of tough ladies kicking butt, it will also hold some itnerest. There's not a lot of stellar acting happening here, but it's mostly passable for what it is. It also tries to be hip with some highly amateur-looking inserts and half-screen visuals that neither add nor detract from the show. But while this show doesn't really offend on any level, it just sort of hangs there, like an unwanted dress from last season. We can't really see ourselves watching more episodes because there's nothing captivating about it, but it minds its own business and we can totally see our dads happily tuning in each week.

Our vlogger Sean Crespo manages to find a bright side to this new Charlie's Angels in this video:

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