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<I>Happy Endings</I>: Free-For-All Character Assessments

In "Sabado Free-Gante," we started to be afraid... and we're not sure if we're more terrified of car-negotiating Jane or the idea that Dave and Alex are moving in together. One thing we are sure of is that Max and Brad should spend a lot more time together, and if that time is spent at addiction meetings and crashing the parties of young children in order to escaped 'roided-out lunatics, so much the better. The one thing we could have lived without entirely was the group Halloween costume, the Jackson 5 (plus Dave as LaToya), but thankfully this show knows when to cut a gag short.

Penny
She decided that she wanted a new car and tried to sneak out of Sunday brunch without Jane noticing and taking over completely. But it turned out that Penny was the mastermind after all, as she planned Jane's craziness into her bargain hunting process. And we're pretty sure that we'll never get tired of her running in to various things and falling down. God bless Casey Wilson for being such an endlessly good sport. And we'd love to read her post-apocalyptic self-published tween novels.

Her best lines:
- "Month of the month?"
- "Al, you are so offensive, but I'm gonna miss you as my roommate."
- "CCH Pounder!"
- "Man alive, are you a witch?"
- "How much do you tip on a car? Fifteen percent? Twenty?"

Dave and Alex
Since they were attached at the hip for the entire episode, it is hard to separate t into their own entity this week. They decided to go apartment hunting with Rachael Harris and during the course of maybe signing a two year lease, realized that they weren't meant to be together... so of course they moved into a fantastic an enormous place. We'll see how long this lasts. Also, is it possible that Dave's hair got worse than it was last week? We didn't think it could get grosser, but we might have been wrong.

Their best lines:
- "Ugh, bad idea. I'm gonna do my Kegel exercises."
- "Aw, hell no. You two whiteys are moving in together? Jive-ass turkeys."
- "Let's die in this bitch."
- "It's too Shia LeBeouffy."
- "One magical night we rekindled our fire in the back of my award-winning food truck."
- "Hesitant? Is that even a word?"
- "We like dial-up."

Brad
He is missing out on all of his "of the month clubs" and his pampered Saturdays now that he's unemployed. Does SinBrad not pay the bills? So he reluctantly agrees to go along with Max to get all of his usual expensive treatments for free. The results are nothing short of a-mah-zing, no matter that his former coworker thinks he looks homeless.

His best lines:
- "LaToya, why you so stupid girl?"
- "I miss Time of the Month club the most. Don't worry, it's not what you think. It's a clock that tells you when your period is coming."
- "Those things are bouncing like Kris Kross."
- "Well, GFF... Gay fat friend."
- "Nope. Nope. Nope. Whiteeeee."
- "Oh Martin, you got to pick and flick it."

Max
Aside from the insane piñata-destroying antics (which we loved), getting Brad to live the low life was wonderful. And we have to appreciate his ingenuity in punching that beefy guy in the face to get a work out in.

His best lines:
- "You go to hell, girl, there's no rosemary sundried chicken apple pesto in that sausage."
- "Dave, I'm gonna miss you paying all our rent. I mean half the rent. I mean no one's getting scammed by anybody."
- "What, no? Crap dammit."
- "Welcome to Max World... TM circle R."
- "I just wish this coffee was a vagina, amiright?"
- "What's up? You guys talking boogs?"

Jane
She turned into a crazy witch, not really even joking, taking down the car czar (he knows what cars are) and appearing randomly next to Penny (it was downright creepy). She's the scariest thing we've seen on Halloween this season, and we'd love to see her and Claire Dunphy go head-to-head in... well, anything, but right now a who can be scarier competition. We hope we get to see her working that the Car Czar, and not just for more Rob Corddry.

Her best lines:
- "The nervous tick in your boob."
- "Let's not start bottom-frenching just yet."
- "Buying a car is like going to war. A very small war inside of a car dealership. There's gonna be casualties. Probably you. A little friendly fire."
- "Oh my gullible chesty friend, you'd better buckle up."
- "Oh my Keyser Söze."
- "No one should ever leave the house without their ideal salary written on a folded-up piece of paper."

Suzanne
The realtor tasked with finding Dave and Alex and apartment of their dreams. Not Rachael Harris' finest work, but she did have some great zingers.

Her best lines:

- "We are going to find you two knufflebunnies an apartment today."
- "This place has all the things you want that the last five places didn't have. Skylights. Gym. Close to a hardware store but far from a software store."
- "Do you guys have a lot of chicken fights? "
- "It doesn't have a secret turny roundy bookcase, but it's zoned for one, and I've got a guy."
- "You know in your stupid hearts that you should not be living together. But it's up to you. What the fuck are you going to do?"

What did you think of the episode? Sound off in the comments.

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