The Telefile
<I>Happy Endings</I>: ‘That List’ Character Assessments

Penny makes lists of people's faults so that when they split up, she'll feel better about it. Maybe we should start doing it with this show... on the off chance it ever falls into How I Met Your Mother horribleness down the road. But it was hard to find much fault with "To Serb With Love." Even the corny Serbian jokes were fine because, really, how often do you hear Serbian humor on American television? The one gripe we have is why Alex's dad (Christopher McDonald) seems to give Dave so much grief about having to pay for the botched wedding, when Alex was the one that ditched Dave. But someone's got to be the scapegoat, and at least it allowed Alex's mom (Julie Hagerty) to try to use eunuch as a verb to describe what happened to Dave.

He wasn't going to the big party for the 20th anniversary of Mr. Kerkovich's mattress store, but got talked into it and then had to deal with the fact that Alex hadn't told her parents about their reunion. He didn't have a lot of great zingers, but he did give a lovely speech pronouncing his love for Alex, though we're still not betting this romance lasts much longer.

His best lines:
- "Brad is correct, Jane is a bitch."
- "We're not fifth wheeling you, Joey Fatone."
- "Simon was addicted to angel dust? That's why he was always punching cars. I just thought he was cool."

She and her mother share a love of meat, and she tries hard to keep the whole Dave thing under-wraps. She had some great moments, but the best was probably her rolling that gigantic sausage around on a plate.

Her best lines:
- "Seriously, Max, you're the Roziest."
- "Who doesn't find Gallagher hilarious? With the watermelons and the smashing? It's funny because it's wasteful."
- "Fifteen-year-old Mexican girls love Dave. They call him Vaquera Blanca de Fuego. The fiery white cowgirl."
- "Be sure to make sexual eye contact with the carver, your stomach will thank you" (in tandem with her mother).
- "He means how we're all getting serious, because of all the wars and the flash mobs and that floating garbage island. We're post-Katrina, guys."
- "Welllllllllllllll, I may not have told my parents that we're back together."

She was sort of desperate in this one, just trying to make her dad laugh at the party even if it killed her. And that mallet during the Gallagher joke might have nearly given her a concussion. Not her finest hour, but she does deserve bonus points for being the one to tell Max that he looked like Roz from Frasier.

Her best line:
- "You are my less fit, less handsome Bruce Vilanch."

He stole Jane's hard-crafted, but stupid, joke in order to get her dad to laugh. And he was the one who gave Dave his pep talk.

His best lines:
- "I'm always right about corn play. I wasn't right about Coldplay, though. They're still huge."
- "She came up with a nickname for his junk, then got confused and called it Dad."
- "Comedy is all about research, babe. That's why Dave Chappelle has two Lexis Nexis accounts."
- "For years my Aunt Margaret's nickname for Jane has been cocaine. Skinny, white and a scourge to the black community."

Desperate for a new BFF when P&P Romance Factory are still going strong, he finds Nickel/Nicole and tries to make Penny jealous. And loves that Nicole is a total insane person who sneaks into his house. We're hoping that this nutjob makes a comeback because Max needs a psychotic playmate if Penny's in a dating.

His best lines:
- "This is not a foursome. You guys are totally fifth wheeling me. "
- "Let me guess: Pete broke up with you because he was shaving at your house and caught you whipping the whiskers into a little vial that you would thus wear around your neck so that you would always have a piece of him on you."
- "Magic's a national hero. He really raised awareness about how a person could successfully live with not having a talk show."
- "Uh,uh,uh, baby girl. What kind of lady tamps are you using?"
- "Too me, they're both horrible."
- "She's like Crazy Stupid Love crazy, not people who loved Crazy Stupid Love crazy."

From her making the list of faults with her boyfriends to her tale about stalking Pete into a convenience store and having her boob hanging out, she was fantastic. We also appreciate her Max list from back in the day, which included her concerns about his meatball consumption. And we don't hate her and Pete together, so we're OK with him... low hanging nipples and all.

Her best lines:
- "No, you guys, STD. Sorry to Disappoint. Also, still together dummies. Double STD. "
- "Oh, Dave, you scruffy dummy."
- "David, I have been in a thriving relatish for I can't even remember how long."
- "I don't want to overstate it, but I think I've sort of mastered relationships forever into perpitutu."
- "Pete, I'm pregnant! I'm not, but I could be! We could sell it and live off the money."

Your favorite/least favorite moments? Sound off below.

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