The Telefile

Happy Endings: Ex-y Character Assessments

by Angel Cohn January 16, 2013 9:46 am
<I>Happy Endings:</I> Ex-y Character Assessments

Forgetting the oddness that was Sunday's episode, let's move on to this way better episode ("The Ex Factor") that not only seemed like it was aired in the right sequence (since Penny was dating Pete and Dave had moved out of Max's place) but it also featured the talents of one Mr. Zack Morris (Mark-Paul Gosselaar) as Max's new roommate, Chase, who had zero tolerance for the gang. In fact, this whole episode served to show just how bizarre this group of friends are by exposing them to more normal people. But what's the fun in "normal"? Let's get on with the weird! Also, bonus points for giving Miss Kim Bauer a chance to make a CTU reference. And speaking of weird, did anyone else catch Leslie from the current season of The Bachelor as one of Pete's friends?

Got a new roommate and immediately decided to remain detached, and got in a whole bunch of digs at Dave in the process. Well, until Chase disappeared for a night and then he, Penny and Dave all went on a quest to find the missing roommate. We want to know a lot more about the time he got stuck in a well though.

His best lines:
- "I told this guy we are going to live totally separate lives. I will not make the same mistake I made with my last roommate and get totally invested in his personal business."
- "You saved me from a well once and now I've got to hear it for the rest of my life?"
- "You can never trust a Veronica. I had a boyfriend once named Veronica. Turns out, he was a woman."
- "Looks like Rachel Maddow with a goatee."

Not of a good lines, per se. Most of his dialogue was straight-man talking, or common-sense figuring out how to find a missing person. He did look pretty dapper in Chase's coat, so perhaps he should upgrade his wardrobe. Does Xela have a menswear section?

His best line:
- "You know I'm not good at dramatic swivels."

Most of her stuff was visual (her card shuffling "tricks") or was cross-talk with Max, but we just can't get enough of her confused facial expressions.

Her best lines:
- "I've had a lot of time to consider all the possibilities of what could have happened. He definitely got eaten by a bear."
- "First you have to contact CTU..."

He gets all jealous when Jane's ex-girlfriend shows up and admits that they were once deeply in love, during their semester at sea. His facial expressions when he listens to Jane and Ryan's "sexy" stories, as well as his pout when he discovers that one of his own exes is a lesbian as well, were delightful.

His best lines:
- "I am opting not to dine. No offense to Ryan, but I just have a Groupon for a Ladysmith Black Mambazo concert... and I hate Ryan sight unseen."
- "Just doing some 'shups." (For the record, this is how we're always going to say pushups now.)
- "Here's a bar graph showing that she loves me more than anyone or anything ever." (Only slightly beating out hand sanitizer...)
- "No, it's not Photoshopped, Jane. It's Adobe Cut and Paste."
- "Oh, it was real physical. We're talking a sex kind of physical. With socks off. And to completion most of the time. Correction: All of the time."
- "Melissa used to leave me a lot of notes too. Sex notes. Some were even sent through the federal mail so it was basically a sex crime. Nope. Nope. No, no... that is something completely different. Regardless, it was hot."
- "Is everybody a lesbian now? Fudge."
- "Right. She does not enjoy my anatomy."

Brought over the aforementioned lesbian girlfriend, and listed off the men and women she'd been with in the past. Loved her simmering rage when Brad was talking about having sex with his ex.

Her best lines:
- "Max, you cannot have disposable income when you owe us eleven thousand dollars... and three cats."
- "We're not gonna have a three-way."
- "Portia's a lesbian?"
- "Say thank you to the nice ladies."

Pete decided that he wanted to spend a day with his friends, which confused Penny, but really showed how socially inept she is without her group. And we mean that in the best way. Separating her for an episode, and then having her try and hop into plotlines at the end like she was catching up on a soap opera, made for much silliness.

Her best lines:
- "Besides withholding judgment on your new goatee, what should we do this weekend?"
- "Nothing else happened? No obstacles you had to hi-jinx your way out of? No one brought a miniature pig to a car dealership to prove a point about gender roles?"
- "Oh, you guys don't do pile-ons?"
- "I get it, you're the Dave of the group. Always talking about stuff nobody cares about."

Honorable mention to M-PG, who threatened to maybe murder Max in his sleep at a future date.

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