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Happy Endings: Yippy Character Assessments

by Angel Cohn January 14, 2013 1:03 pm
<I>Happy Endings</I>:  Yippy Character Assessments

As if the burning off of double episodes twice a week wasn't enough of a slap in the face to those of us still holding out hope we might get another season of this show, now ABC is airing episodes completely out of order and branding them as "new," and we're supposed to just happily play along. They're doing the same thing with Don't Trust the B---- in Apt 23 as well. It's really annoying, especially since in the "KickBall 2: The Kickening" episode of Happy Endings, Penny didn't know how to pronounce Xela, when she spent last week promoting it, and Dave and Alex clearly aren't together as they are both still living in their old houses. A quick Google search tells me that this episode was filmed for last season, and maybe even aired in the UK last spring (if you trust the internet). While I can still watch reruns of Friends out of order, and think that a lot of these episodes can stand alone, as a Happy Endings fan, I would like a little bit of a sense of continuity if I'm watching a show in first-run. It makes it hard to really engage in an episode when you know that Penny flirting with a hot football player amounts to nothing. It would be like if Monica and Chandler were married, and yet NBC showed a "new" episode where she's hooking up with Tom Selleck. Anyway, clearly none of TPTB are concerned about my feelings on how this show should be shown, so on to the North Side Kickball classic.

Dave
He has the kickball yips ever since he hit Penny in the face with a kickball, so now he's just outright awful and can't kick a ball to save his life. He can't even properly execute a high five.

His best lines:
"I didn't even know you could pronounce the name of your store. I thought it was a four letter Celtic symbol for failure. "
"Have you forgotten that my enormous right foot is a half size bigger than my left?"
"Is it the same recipe as 'I'm sorry you saw my mom naked' soup?"

Max
Played the Tom Hanks gruff manager of this ragtag kickball team, but mostly just drank beer the entire episode.
His best lines:
"There is no way you are getting Max for the minimum."
"Like when Wang Chung tried to have fun the following night."
"Turns out there is crying in kickball."

Brad (a.k.a. Bunt Cake)
Mostly tried to make his nickname happen.

His best lines:
"I know it might sound stupid, but I started going to church."
"Remember when you forgot the words to Gangsta's Paradise? To this day you still can't perform a eulogy."
"No one calls me the guy who diffuses tense situations with unexpected compliments, but that doesn't mean it's not true."

Penny
Boy crazy Penny getting hit in the head with blunt objects, what else is new?
Her best lines:
"Are you in a bad mood now, or can we still go try on wigs?"
"My kickball shoes make me look like a lesbian."

Alex
Really wanted her team to win, mostly to get back at Jane for stealing the spotlight during their chance to dance with a big plushie on TV when they were kids. Think Barney, but even more disturbing.

Her best lines:
"Max could be dead or presumed missing."
"You stole my spot on Baboo the Green Honkey Funky Hour."
"Lookie, lookie, its Janeidict Arnold. "
"I don't have time to break out the slow cooker and make apology pork loin with a side of super sorry glaze."

Jane
Takes a spot on an opposing team, because she's nothing if not competitive. We did like her sibling rivalry with Alex.

Her best lines:
"My book club is doing a brunch crawl."
"Silly Alex, wins are for winners."
"You're only as good as your weakest link. I'm talking about Yipsee kai-yay mother failure over there."

Honorary Mention
Props to Scottie (Seth Morris) for his general continued grossness, and his kind offer to "date" Penny. "I'll do stuff to you." But the real winner of this episode was the announcer (played by Matt Walsh), he stole the kickball scenes with his color commentary.

His best lines:
"A gigantic homerun for the child sized woman. "
"Very impressive for a chubby."
"Dave Rose? But he's terrible."
"Team Zazu wins."
"I got to see female belly for the first time since my wife moved into the second bedroom."
"In my 36 hours of covering kickball folks, I've never seen anything so confusing."

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