The Telefile
OMFG! Gossip Girl Spin Off! There is a God

Holy bleep! Gossip Girl spin-off you guys. According to The Hollywood Reporter, the show's creators are in the midst of developing a new series that will likely be based on Taylor Momsen's Jenny Humphrey character, who, in the book series, packs off to boarding school after one too many vain attempt to fit in with the cool kids. I never read the sub-series It Girl on which the new show is said to be based, so I don't know where said boarding school will be located, but assuming it's in a rural area, which many a schmancy Eastern boarding school is, expect the kids to engage in some creative forms of recreation. I went to boarding school my senior year in the middle of bumble-fuck Michigan, and I think it's safe to say that what happens in these bizarre hormone-drenched microcosms is just as wacky, if not wackier than the shit that goes down within the world of privileged city kids. In fact, I fully expect it to be GG on steroids -- eating disorders, gay (and Gay 'Til Graduation) characters galore, and drug use that I'll be charitable in describing as "innovative." (Ever huffed Glade? That's what happens when you're 500 miles from the nearest pot dealer.)

There's still some question as to where this guaranteed smash hit will land, since The CW has already filled its quota of teenage melodramas (GG, the forthcoming 90210 sequel and One Tree Hill, which, does anyone actually watch that anymore?). What I'm wondering is, how will the whole text-message-driven narrative keep going when the main character's cell phone is out of range? Inquiring minds want to know.

Much as I anticipate the radness of this show, I'm a little bummed that of all the characters they chose to use as a spin-off subject, they managed to pick the most boring one. Anyone who was as giddy as I was to see Blair Waldorf and Chuck Bass together again in all their evil, bitch-faced glory for this season's GG finale is knows that what we really need is a show about this terrible two-some. I'm thinking Blair and Chuck: Euroglam, in which the duo jet-sets around Europe doing lines off each others' naked bodies aboard Blair's private jet. Or maybe Assholes, Incorporated, in which the pair opens an event-planning boutique firm. I guarantee there's a built-in audience for that project.




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