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The Telefile

Dan Quayle doesn't wanna, now Kathy Griffin doesn't wanna -- the only person on God's green earth who actually wants to be on Dancing With the Stars is Dick Smothers! And, as I've said before, the TV legend has been rejected three whole times! I mean, who the hell else can they really get at this point? At this rate, they'll have been turned down by every Kato Kaelin and Paula Poundstone in the land by the end of the month, and the DWtS producers will have to cast the Smothers Brother, right? And I hope he turns them down, and they have to simulate a cast with cardboard cutouts of celebs mounted on toy trains like in Home Alone! It will be a great victory for Dick (Smothers)!

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