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The Seven Grossest Things About Last Night’s <i>Bachelor Pad</I>

On last night's episode, we finally got resolution on the nail-biting cliffhanger from the week prior. Big shocker: Jake went home instead of Kasey. The former Bachelor graciously (and delusionally) stepped up and gave a speech about forgiveness and how he was really glad to have met Vienna's new boyfriend and that he felt good about the whole experience. Did we mention he was a bit delusional? Or possibly under the influence of some happy pills? But after his exit, things took a turn for the worse and we spent most of the episode trying to crawl out of our own skin. And that's not even counting the unveiling of this fall's Dancing With the Stars "celebrities." The first time Nancy Grace does a dirty rumba, we're so out of there. Here's what grossed us out the most at the Pad:

Michele Has Standards All of a Sudden
The woman who essentially mauled Brad Womack on national television decided that she's too classy to play a kissing game, and opted out (she clearly doesn't understand how this game works). She also said she wanted to set a good example for her child. Not subjecting her child to airings of this show might be a good start. It should also be noted that this season's other single mom, Ella, won the competition because she understands that winning would benefit her kid. (Though, to be fair, neither of them are completely responsible parents because going on this show doesn't exactly set a great example for your children.)

Erica's Massage Therapy
Princess Erica decided that she was going to win over Blake by having him strip and giving him a rub down. Her plan was that her massage techniques and plumped-up collagen lips would earn her a rose. Shockingly, this strategy didn't work.

Holly's Hookups
Holly used to be engaged to Michael and over the course of this season has considered getting back together with him. But then there's Blake. She enjoyed making out with him during the kissing competition and went on a one-on-one date with him, skied very badly and made out with him some more. Fine, move on. But when she returned from her date, she went and snuggled with Michael. He's like a sad puppy dog -- don't play with his emotions that way. It's just not nice.

The Actual Kissing Competition
This contest is just beyond skeevy, so obviously it is our favorite. The guys get blindfolded and then kissed by all the women so they can pick the best kisser and then vice versa, all under the watchful eye of Chris Harrison. Blake and his frisky tongue won for the guys, while Ella was insanely proud that she beat out the collagen-infused Erica. But when you think about all of the swapped saliva and the potential for sharing diseases, it really makes you kind of sick to your stomach. And the ladies talking about Kasey's halitosis issues didn't help matters.

Is Kasey Pulling a Jonny Fairplay?
On Survivor, Jonny Fairplay told everyone that his grandma died in order to garner himself sympathy and stick around longer, even though she was actually alive and kicking and supposedly in on the "joke." Now we don't know yet if Kasey's grandmother is really sick, but telling everyone that he needs to win the money because otherwise she will die is just disgusting... even if it is true. Everyone has issues -- Ella and Kirk had some major sob stories, too, for example, but they didn't broadcast it in a bullying fashion. "Vote for me to stay or you are a grandma murderer." Yeah, we really can't stand Kasey.

Melissa and the Meltdown
Melissa is not cut out to play in any sort of competition -- she's just too emotionally unstable. Watching her freak out on Blake like a stalker was more than a little uncomfortable, but then she had to go threaten him and then top it all off by going around the house crying. Get a spine, girl.

Kasey and Vienna Are Still There
Not sure we can handle another week with these two. She's awful and needy and famewhorey, while he's got some serious anger issues that he needs to work out and after last week's tirade and then "proposal," we're pretty sure he's emotionally abusive. They may be a match made in reality hell, but seeing the rest of the sheep in the house go along with these two morons is really unsettling.

Check out more awkward moments from this week's episode.

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