The Telefile
<I>Don’t Trust the B—- in Apt. 23</i>: What We Learned This Week

"Parent Trap..." was not my favorite episode so far, as June was tremendously annoying, but there were some great moments involving small children. It's too bad that June went bananas and shook "her baby" because the two roomies with a foster child could have had comic potential for a few more episodes. Still, this installment did teach us a few things:

If you are savvy and passably fluent in a number of languages, you can be a nightlife guide for dignitaries while the UN is in session.
Troubled teens make the best free personal assistants.
Don't go to weird street fairs to meet guys unless you like dead plants and fish.
Mad Men's Kiernan Shipka is like a "small blonde Daniel Day-Lewis."
There is a very good reason that a father/daughter body swapping movie has not been made before. It leads to a lot of uncomfortable conversations about men getting periods, and girls making out with their moms.
The perfect gift for a woman who helps you get a foster child is a Smoked Sable basket, not a cookie bouquet.
If you are an assistant to James Van Der Beek, your duties will include reading scripts, eating questionable sushi, picking his forearm up while he's watching TV and carrying him over puddles.
Read everything you sign, because otherwise you can inadvertently become a lesbian foster parent.
The biggest drama at a coffee house is an employee who steals coffee.
Juggling is dangerous: "[It] is not just a fun pastime that destroyed my wrists."
Chloe has a strict no flip-flop policy for her children/assistants.
James has some bizarre dreams: "I've never been a 12-year-old girl before. I've had ton of 12-year-old fans. Countless stalkers. Thousands of dreams where I was one. "
Argentinean diplomats love them some Grey's Anatomy.
James can mimic a 12-year-old girl quite well, but he should never say "cray-cray."
If you shake your child, you won't go to jail; you just won't be able to run a Girl Scout troop.
Robin likes to build ships in her apartment. Not entirely sure why.
January Jones may actually be a robot.

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