The Telefile

Modern Family: The Best Lines of the Week

by Angel Cohn February 7, 2013 1:47 pm
<i>Modern Family</i>: The Best Lines of the Week

I'm feeling a little guilty since I only offered to sub in for this week's episode because Rachel just couldn't deal with another awful installment of this show and "A Slight at the Opera" actually turned out to be one of the more enjoyable episodes of this season. There wasn't much of Gloria, Cam and Mitchell were entirely separated for the whole episode, Lily was kept to a minimum, the kids had their own storylines and Phil just got to be his delightfully weird self (and even play on the trampoline with Ty's real-life brother Duncan Burrell). Aside from everything related to Mitchell wanting his father's approval so desperately that he staged this elaborate golf outing with Pepper and the "Nancy" jokes, and with seeing Alex turn into just a bitter girl whose insults are getting less cutting and more mean spirited, t was good. And Nolan Gould singing "The Music of the Night" was far better than Russell Crowe in Les Miserables. And if you've got an episode tied together with Harry Chapin's "Cats in the Cradle", how can you not be a little bit moved? I mean, if you have any kind of heart at all.

"Too bad deals aren't closed in a trampoline park. I'd just lazyback into a Rudolph into a quadrifice right up the corporate ladder."
As I mentioned, the trampolining paid off at the end, but this line came right after a mention by Lily that Phil had hit her repeatedly with a golf ball. Can't help but wonder/hope that was on purpose. And then there was Luke's off-screen telling Lily not to worry and to keep her mouth open while he putted. Torturing Lily could be our favorite part of this show.

"I'm sorry for dozens of things every day for things that actually happen. If I start apologizing for things that don't happen, how productive of a person would I be."
A falling turkey and some discarded golf balls set Claire on a tirade trying to make Phil realize that he shouldn't just leave stuff around, and while it went on a little long, it was such a minor part of the episode and led to the Dylan/Haley playing house that it's hard to complain about it much.

"A lot harder than your so-called singing. At least this is supposed to be flat."
Such a dumb kid insult from the mouth of Luke, but it felt actually realistic, unlike most of the self-involved manipulative nonsense that came from Manny.

"Maybe this is what I should do with my life."
The look on Claire's face when Haley said that she loved children and wanted to be a mom. Priceless.

"He's cats in the cradling you."
Leading to the crying golf cart scene, and the best thing that Pepper said, aside from "I like big putts and I cannot lie."

"Are you kidding me? My grandson paints the sets for a play and I'm not going to drive in from Florida?"
Fred Willard, Phil's dad, showing what it is to be the most awesome father and grandfather.

So yeah, maybe I glossed over the psychic part, but I think the weight of this episode was so evenly distributed that even though that was moronically stupid, it at least didn't go on for that long.

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