The Telefile

New Girl: Roommate Do’s and Don’ts of the Week

by Angel Cohn February 27, 2013 10:55 am
<I>New Girl</I>: Roommate Do’s and Don’ts of the Week

We've been so focused on the Nick/Jess relationship lately that we've forgotten the equally important relationship between Schmidt and Nick. Thankfully, Schmidt rectified that in "Tinfinity" with his celebration of their tenth anniversary of living together and threw one hell of a party. We only wish we'd had a chance to see more of the Paper and Wood parties as well. Our major quibbles with the episode involved the way they made Jax such an annoying weepy mess and the lack of Winston in general (yes, we sound like a broken record... for those people who even remember what records are). They could have done the Jax thing in a less over-the-top way and it would have been fine. And we'd say mazel tov to Cece and Shivrang, but we know that would break Schmidt to pieces.

- A nice reminder that Jess is a teacher: "Did you know that the chemical symbol for tin is SN? Schmidt Nick. Is no one else's mind blown by this?"

- Nick complimenting and insulting Schmidt at the same time: "That's actually really good Schmidt. Although I really don't think that two men who live together for ten years need a party."

- Cece stating the obvious always: "Why are we friends with these guys?"

- Jess's string of gross men at the bar: "Did they open up a bus station next door?"

- Schmidt assuming that Winston would not be able to get a famous football player to be his friend: "Winston, does he think you're Omar Epps?"

- Nick's man crush on Jax: "His hands are so big and warm. I want to fall asleep in them like Thumbelina."

- We've got a feeling this is just the beginning of things Shivrang is going to have to explain to his mom: "Mom, I have to go. It's two men celebrating living together for ten years... No, they're not. I can tell you for a fact that they're not."

- Cece's reaction to Shivrang's original proposal: "I used to just think if I was being proposed to I would notice it was happening."

- Schmidt being the best with children: "Take your football back to Europe."

- A question I was wondering as well: "How much did you spend on this?"

- Yay, Robby!: "I don't really do well with bathroom pressure."

- Schmidt on Nick's new porta-potty business: "I don't think that should be the main anything. I think people would be better off if they made a caca in their hands."

- Everything to do with the Nick/Schmidt dorm room: "Remember back in college when we were equals?"

- Jess's mixed reaction to Jax's overloving, and being picked up like a feather by the big beefy guy: "Never put me down."

- Shivrang's actually proposal (using Schmidt's toast music and celebration): "I don't know any of you. I'm Shivrang. Oh, there's music now. Cece, where are you? I know I said I wasn't going to do some big proposal thing. That being said, I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with you. So... do you, um, do you want to do this thing?"

- The look on Schmidt's face after he heard this: "It's shaped like an infinity sign because they are gonna be married forever."

- Schmidt being honest: "I know it sounds kind of cheesy, but I always thought I was going to be the man to bone Cece for the rest of her life."

- Nick making drinking booze from a shared bottle simple: "My mouth's been on it. It's not a big deal. It's just my mouth."

- College Nick on the ladies: "I know what they want sexually and I'm not afraid to give it to them."

- Equals!: "Neither one of us are Tom Cruise or the other one. We are both Iceman."

- Even Nick's not this oblivious, right: "Do I have frosting on my lips? Look at my mouth, do I have frosting on it? My mouth feels moist and weird. Do I have anything on it?"

- We hate the way Jess says the word "mouth": "I need a different mouth on my mouth to erase that one."

- Also, don't use the word "French" as a verb: "I have this feeling too. I want to French you. I really want to French you."

- Jax crying on Winston: "I'd like to report a missing item... my heart."

- Schmidt being a jerk to the DJ: "Don't mess this up... or tippy go bye-bye."

- Nick harassing his friend: "So that's not full of pee?"

- Jess's reaction to Jax's revelation: "I'm innocent. I was framed."

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