The Telefile

Recently in That’s F&*!ed Up Category

Eastbound & Down: The Premiere’s Most Offensive Lines

After his South of the Border sojourn, Kenny Effin' Powers is back stateside in Season 3 of HBO's scabrous comedy Eastbound & Down. Danny McBride's foul-mouthed, not-so-vaguely racist and all-around awful alter ego is currently calling Myrtle Beach, South Carolina home and pitching for the minor league team, the Mermen. He's apparently got some of his old heat back as well, and is so high on his newfound success that he's already prewritten the third installment of his so-called Life Saga, describing how he got back to the Majors... even though he hasn't actually gotten back to the Majors yet.

5 Reasons The Amazing Race Is Underwhelming This Season

There have been a handful of highlights so far in this all-star season of The Amazing Race -- one truly difficult challenge (just like old times!), Mallory's adorableness, the fairly early and utterly humiliating Philimination of Margie and Luke -- but the show is still exhibiting plenty of big problems in its 18th cycle. Some are unique to this season, while others are issues it's had for a while. With the series getting an unsurprising renewal by CBS, there's still time to return it to its past glory. Here's what's been bugging us this spring:

A Grab Bag of Reactions to All the Idol Hubbub

by Mindy Monez July 30, 2010 2:14 pm
A Grab Bag of Reactions to All the Idol Hubbub

It's early yet, but American Idol is already cleaning house for next season. Not all of it is official, but most of the news seems pretty definite, at least for the time being. Ellen's out (that's been confirmed). Kara's probably out, and being replaced by J.Lo. Randy, easily the most universally hated judge in the show's history, is reportedly staying, for reasons I cannot for the life of me discern. Seacrest isn't going anywhere, of course, and then there's the most baffling of all the news: Steven Tyler may replace Simon. Well, that should be terrifying.

Six Katie Cassidy Jobs Even Worse Than Gossip Girl

We can't help but feel a little bad for Katie Cassidy at the moment. She was the best thing on The CW, and they knew it, so they delayed officially canceling Melrose Place until after pilot season, essentially leaving her trapped on the network until next year's pilot casting rounds. And as such, she'll be guesting on Gossip Girl this fall, playing a love interest for Nate. Great -- we know what a fantastic opportunity that turned out to be for Joanna Garcia last season. Nothing like showing up on an established show past its prime to form an annoying new love triangle (I know he and Serena are done, but I know this show, so I know they are never going to be done) -- just ask Melissa George how awesome it is! So it sucks, and it just made me think of other, possibly worse ways the CW could have stuck it to Ms. Cassidy for (allegedly!) trying to leave the network last spring. You know they at least considered all of these at some point.

Fringe Takes on the Worst Producers Ever, Tries to Kill Me

Every TV fan has showrunners and/or writers they just can't stand for one reason or another. Star Trek fans by and large don't adore Brannon Braga, for example. Heroes creator Tim Kring has also become quite frustrating, and Ronald D. Moore divides as many Battlestar fans as the show's finale did. But me? I don't pay much attention to those three (well, Kring I pick on, but who doesn't?), because all my frustration and ire is focused on two people: Monica Breen and Alison Schapker. Haven't heard of them? Let me tell you what they've put me through, and what they'll likely do to Fringe, since they've just joined as co-executive producers.

Why NBC's Late-Night Mess Could Be Great for TV Fans

by Mindy Monez January 11, 2010 1:23 pm
Why NBC's Late-Night Mess Could Be Great for TV Fans While NBC's decision to move Jay Leno back to 11:35 PM and to try to make Conan accept a Leno-Fallon sandwich timeslot is aggravating for Conan fans and embarrassing for everyone involved (and may leave sad little Carson Daly unemployed), we're pretty psyched for it. If Conan ends up leaving NBC (and he really should) for Fox, as is being reported he likely will, that's great for Conan fans. And even if he stays, getting Leno out of primetime and freeing up all those timeslots is nothing but good news for a floundering NBC. Here's why.

Today's TWoP News: Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A moment of silence, please. Or, at least, a moment of not Twittering. That's the same as silence nowadays, right? A Joss Whedon show has been cancelled (probably), which means that another angel has gotten its wings, which is also a metaphor for puberty.

The Least Accurate Porn Parodies of TV Shows

by Zach Oat October 22, 2009 6:00 am
The Least Accurate Porn Parodies of TV Shows

Porn parodies of TV show are all the rage nowadays. In fact, they're so prevalent that 30 Rock has a storyline tonight in which Liz Lemon decides to cut out the middleman and produce a 30 Rock porn herself. However, they fail to mention the fact that there already is a 30 Rock porn. (You can see the SFW trailer here, if you don't mind a few f-bombs.) It actually looks like a pretty good parody, too -- the guy who plays Tracy Jordan actually has some really funny lines, and the Jack Donaghy character is sufficiently raspy. But while this particular parody seems to be faithful to the show, a lot of the porns out there take liberties that cannot be tolerated. If it doesn't work as a porn, just don't do it! Here are a few of the most egregious offenders.

Today's TWoP News: Friday, October 9, 2009

Holy jeebus! New shows canceled, old shows revived, fathers and mothers cast, animated characters stripping for money, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria! Or just mass media. It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.

A Day Without a D’Onofrio: We Re-Cast Law & Order: Criminal Intent

The unthinkable has happened. After eight seasons, Law & Order: Criminal Intent will be without lead detective Robert Goren for the first time, as Vincent D'Onofrio will be leaving the show to do more film work. And he's not alone, either -- Kathryn Erbe (Det. Eames), Julianne Nicholson (Det. Wheeler) and Eric Bogosian (Capt. Ross) are all leaving the show, as well. Who does that leave? Pretty much just new hire Jeff Goldblum, who just finished his first season as Det. Nichols. While it can't feel good to have all of your fellow cast members quit on you, we're glad Goldblum is sticking around, because now he can be the lead detective in a show cast entirely by us! Well, almost -- they've already replaced Nicholson with Saffron Burrows, formerly of My Own Worst Enemy. But here's who we think should fill the rest of the vacant spots.



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