The Telefile
TWoP 10: Shows That Heather Locklear Should Join Instead of <I>Melrose Place</I>

As expected, Heather Locklear has agreed to appear on the new version of Melrose Place as bitch queen Amanda Woodward. And while she's the best thing that could happen to that mediocre, at best, rehash of a series, this "show saver" could do so much better. We've got some ideas on shows she could improve just by being in their general vicinity.

1. Grey's Anatomy
This show needs some new blood, and not in the form of whiny new interns. There hasn't been an awesome new grown-up on this show since Addison, and it's about damn time. She can flirt with McSteamy and McDreamy and anyone else who might come along her path. And she and Alex would be fab together... you know, just in case he ever breaks up with Izzie. Plus, she knows her way around a hospital, since she did a short stint on Scrubs.

2. Heroes
Look, we need reasons to keep watching this show and while Robert Knepper is cool and creepy, we're pretty much tired of everything (and everyone) else. We're torn on what her power should be, but we've got it narrowed down to four: 1) Be able to go back in time to make it so the last two seasons never happened, 2) Erase our memories of the past two seasons, 3) Mind control the writers so they come up with better stories, and 4) Everyone she touches is instantly more awesome.

3. House
Wilson needs a new girlfriend, so why can't it be smokin' new oncologist Heather Locklear? She'll be his rival at work, but secret lover? So good. She'd also be a good sparring partner for Cuddy, and could put the fear of god into Thirteen so that she'd finally need to leave PPTH.

4. Southland
We'll admit that our reasoning for this is to see the TJ Hooker/CHiPs star back in a cop uniform, but this show is great and features strong performances and with its move to Friday night, we're a little worried it might need a little saving, ratings-wise. Locklear is that ratings draw.

5. V
This show hasn't debuted, so it doesn't need saving ... yet. But she's so perfectly suited to play one of the sexy aliens that we just had to put it on the list. In fact, since the lizard people are all insanely hot and can hide in human shells, we're not entirely convinced she isn't an alien. How else do you explain the fact that she never seems to age?

6. Ugly Betty
This show needs serious assistance, and we can think of few better to play a rival to Wilhelmina. She can be a former model and she can even try and sink her claws into now single Daniel. It will be so soapy and delicious.

7. The Big Bang Theory
We've met the women who begat the show's lovable science nerds, but we imagine that the person who birthed Penny has to be blonde and glamorous. Sounds like a role that is tailor made for Locklear.

8. The Good Wife
Let's put all of that time working on the somewhat political Spin City to good use on this new legal drama. It's a serious show, with some big talents, but it is missing something. Maybe that special ingredient is Locklear, who is a partner at a rival law firm with a specialty in political corruption cases. And since the former Amanda Woodward knows how to spread a rumor, we're sure she could leak some juicy stories about Alicia's husband.

9. Brothers & Sisters
These people keep having relatives pop-up all over the place, so might they invent a role for Holly's bitchy sister who works for some corporate giant that wants to make a hostile takeover of Ojai?

10. True Blood
After years on Dynasty and Melrose Place the actress knows a thing or five about preposterous and unbelievably soapy plots, and True Blood has them in spades. Since Maryann is finally gone, the show could really use another crazed omnipotent being to stir up trouble in Bon Temps. Though we'd be thrilled if she was a supreme leader of all vampires since we'd like to see her fangs come out.

What shows would you like to see Heather Locklear on? Sound off below.




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