The Telefile

TWoP 10: Characters Who Most Deserve to Find Love

by Angel Cohn November 11, 2011 10:45 am
TWoP 10: Characters Who Most Deserve to Find Love

Coach Beiste found herself a sweet and appropriate beau this week on Glee, and if the unlikely football coach can find a love interest, then there's hope for anyone out there -- just look at Up All Night's Ava and Kenny on Man Up!, who got their own doses of tenderness, too (for now, anyways). We've identified these other lovelorn and lonely TV characters who most seem like they (and their shows) would benefit from a little bit of romance in their lives.

10. Finch (Person of Interest)
We know so little about Finch's personal life that it is possible that he has a husband or wife secreted away somewhere who we've yet to discover. But considering that the world thinks he's dead and he's a constant workaholic who spends all of his time staring at numbers and wearing drab clothing, it seems unlikely. If someone gave this sad little computer genius a hug once in a while, his life would seem less depressing. Maybe he'd even start wearing colors.

9. Jack Porter (Revenge)
Our hearts broke for small-town bar owner Jack Porter when he confessed his love for the revenge-minded Emily Thorne/Amanda Clarke only to watch her walk away and go back to her boyfriend/vehicle for vengeance, Daniel Grayson. Between Emily's rejection, his dad's death, his younger brother's selfish ways and a bar that's only a few slow nights away from going under, it's no wonder that Jack looks sad all the freakin' time. Can he place a want ad for a saucy barmaid? Must love dogs.

8. Lynette Scavo (Desperate Housewives)
In this trial separation, idiot Tom gets to spend his time with the wonderful Jane (Andrea Parker), while Lynette has no one to love. Though this is entirely her own fault for being such an unlikable human being all the time, it would genuinely be nice to see Lynette finally be with someone who has a backbone and who knows how to make her happy. (We'd even settle on the return of sexy pizza man Rick Coletti.) Yes, she's a busy single mom and it might be hard to find the time to date, but lucky for her, Penny is the only one of her ten children who are even around these days.

7. Lisa Shay (Suburgatory)
Tessa's been in town all of five minutes and has already had a hot hookup with Lisa's brother, but yet Lisa herself is in a sad little high school bubble where she's perpetually ignored, even by the other losers at her school. Is there not a chess club in Chatswin with a guy who would appreciate her awkwardness, and be willing to deal with her neurotic mother and appalling brother?

6. Dr. Sheldon Wallace (Private Practice)
It's a bit sad that Sheldon on The Big Bang Theory has better luck with women than this Sheldon. He's a trained psychiatrist, a bit nebbishy, but supposedly quite... um, gifted in the bedroom. Yet he only seems to attract totally unavailable women (Violet) or drug addicted nutjobs (Amelia). We're not shrinks, but even we know he's on a self-destructive relationship path.

5. Schmidt (New Girl)
He's an eager young guy who has no idea how to behave around women, and instead does all of the most unattractive douchebag things he can to impress ladies. It's been a largely unsuccessful strategy, as oiled-up abs don't draw the kind of attention he really wants. There's got to be a woman out there who is willing to overlook that (perhaps she lives on the Jersey Shore?) and we think if given the chance, he'd probably be a decent boyfriend. All it takes is a birdlike cat to keep him in check.

4. Birkhoff (Nikita)
He's a super genius, brilliantly sarcastic, insanely good with computers, rich as all hell (way to steal from the government!) and loyal to a fault. But he doesn't seem to get out much... living in an underground lair and being on the run from Division will do that to a person. Instead he has to watch as Nikita and Michael make goo-goo eyes at each other, while he just supports them and puts his life on the line. Can't he hack into an online dating site for his perfect mate?

3. Manny Delgado (Modern Family)
He tries harder than anyone else on this show to win the affections of ladies, but so far his efforts have been for naught. It seems that young women these days don't appreciate a boy who knows how to dance, dress snazzy and appreciates the finer things in life. What he needs is his neighborhood's answer to Rory Gilmore; a young lady who understands how important relationships with mothers are and can drink copious amounts of coffee.

2. Raj (The Big Bang Theory)
His dating life has been... dreary. Mostly because he can't talk around women unless he's totally wasted. At which point he turns into a total ladies' man. But being a functioning alcoholic is a difficult way to live. He almost had something with that nice deaf girl, but she was just after him for his money. Perhaps he could find a woman who just likes to communicate via text message? It might work. It's got to be easier than having Howard around to translate for him all the time. Because nothing puts a damper on sexual feelings faster than Howard Wolowitz.

1. Dean Pelton (Community)
This eager little beaver desperately tries to insinuate himself in any possible scenario in order to make friends, and even uses his authority as Dean to abuse email privileges. He's by far the most unique individual we've been introduced to in a long time. While we've never seen the flamboyant dresser actually date, and we're not 100 percent sure which gender he prefers (not that it's necessary to pick one or the other), we think we've got a lock on his type; it's a long, lean person who enjoys tight-fitting jeans, is easily blackmailed and loves karaoke. Also, he seems to like people who are emotionally abusive to him. Does Greendale have an S&M club?

Think you've got game? Prove it! Check out Games Without Pity, our new area featuring trivia, puzzle, card, strategy, action and word games -- all free to play and guaranteed to help pass the time until your next show starts.

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